Championing Ourselves Blog

Book Review: Historical Residues in the Old Irish Legends of Queen Medb: An Expanded Interpretation of the Ulster Cycle by Diana Dominguez

2011-12-15T14:26:00.000-08:00

Book Review: Historical Residues in the Old Irish Legends of Queen Medb: An Expanded Interpretation of the Ulster Cycle by Diana Dominguez

Edwin Mellen Press, 2010

Sometimes resources find you just when you need them, this was the case for me when I was in early struggles of resuming work on Teh Project and I came across a dissertation by Diana Veronica Dominguez exploring Medb of Connacht 's story using the theories of gender parody/performance. This study has now been published as this book, and I feel it is a transformational study leading to a deeper understanding of Medb, and perhaps women in the literature as a whole.

Medb is the most featured of all female characters in the Irish matter, let alone the most featured woman warrior, yet she's often treated merely as a footnote, either a misogynist joke or a humanized Goddess. A predominant theory is that she was nothing more than an example of how wrong it is for a woman to be sexually free and to attempt to take on male roles. For others, she is seen as a humanized Sovereignty Goddess, conflated with Medb Lethderg despite no real connection being made other than the name, “redeeming” her sexuality as appropriate and laying the blame for all her “failings” at the feet of the “unworthy kings” she weds. Neither makes for a very complex figure.

Dominguez doesn't dismiss these prevalent theories, in fact, she explores the cultural lenses that created them, as she addresses the idea that story depends on the view of the audience and how they read intentional and unintentional coding. Along with showing how Medb can be seen to enact both stereotypical feminine and stereotypical masculine traits to meet her needs, she shows how differing views, by various contemporary and later audiences, bring to life a more complex, multifaceted literary figure. Neither the coding nor the gender performance need to have been intentionally meant by the transcribers or tellers of a story, the coding and how recognizable it might be varies in the audience, according to their own cultural or sub-group knowledge. Having an understanding of the culture can help us determine what coding might have been read at the time.

Dominguez' exploration of the culture of Ireland at the time included looking at the knowledge base of those who would have transcribed these tales, of native, Biblical and Classical traditions and of history. She also explores the possibility for actual women warriors, without getting into the romantic notions so popular today (although I, personally, find the Cáin Adamnáin/Lex Innocentium a little less hopeful as I note here). She also discusses the real-life queens who lived at the time the stories were transcribed, who were clearly politically influential even if not titular, and that the Anglo-Saxon Queen Æthelflæd was well recorded in the Irish Annals. She notes that changes in Medb's stories in later text may well have been influenced by these queens lives. She also reminds us of the potential for brother-less women to become temporary (as their inheritance would return to their father's family) heirs; this may never have come up in regards to rule given “...there was never a shortage of males vying for ruling power...” but such a possibility may have been a consideration in the contemporary minds. This makes Medb and her sisters, with their brother's having been exiled for treason, more readable as exaggerated, but somewhat plausible, fictional rulers.

Whether such female leadership was acceptable as a reality to the original audience of the time, Dominguez reminds us that it certainly is accepted in some of the tales despite misogynist remarks in the TBC. Others come to her, not her huband(s), for counsel and even when Fergus goes to Aillil in Táin Aillil turns to Medb's advice. In many of these cases her advice is labeled by scholars as flawed and malicious due to her gender, but the reality is that it is neither more nor less manipulative than counsel given by male characters and there are clear ends to be met, often to protect herself which protects her Connacht. Importantly, I feel, the idea that her reasons for going after the bull in TBC are often trivialized as “willfulness” and a “marital spat” is taken to task here. Dominguez points out that she had very real reasons for being at war with Conchobor who was not only her former husband but her rapist, killer of her son, the killer of one of her husbands, the man who humiliated her and her father. This was not about a frivolous seeking of fame or one-up-man-ship over her current husband. It was a very real political issue, about saving face which was a serious issue in Early Ireland and her motives are really no less appropriate than a man in this situation within this body of literature. In examining this, Dominguez also brings Aillil up from the typical reading of a weak cuckold, showing his reason for also wanting war with Ulster, the political implications for him in this situation and a reading that that, yes, there was a true partnership in this marriage.

Likewise, Dominguez makes a case for Medb as a a military leader, noting that many of “mistakes' attributed to her “wrong-thinking” due to being female work as strategy. She shows that many of the decisions Medb makes that are written off by some scholars as “feminine whims” are actually very much in keeping with heroic male thought, while others are indeed performances of “feminine weakness” to get the men to take the action she wants and should responsibility for it. This also includes testing Fergus's loyalty, and while Dominguez offers a more honorable reading of Aillil than many give, she shows Fergus was far more clearly duplicitous than often admitted to. Even Medb's “humiliating” encounter with Cú Chulainn can be seen as performance and tactic, rather than a reversion to mythological state or depiction of her actually being a “weak and vile woman,” for the meeting buys time for her men to make off with the Brown.

In showing these various lenses, Dominguez shows us a multifaceted Medb, far from a saint, perhaps not everyone’s choice of role model (though I know a few who do claim her as such and will find this heartening), but a realistically portrayed literary figure who was likely understood differently by the original audience than by the Victorian critiques or ourselves today. She is not the first to do so, she has some good sources regarding seeing Medb a bit more complexly in the work of Ewa Sadowska, Doris Edel and Ann Dooley, but she certainly offers the most in depth look at Medb to be found to date. And this form of study leaves the door wide open for much further consideration.

On that, Dominguez wraps up by saying that she does not intend this to be the definitive exploration of Medb. She describes some of the many possible issues to still examine about this character who stands out in the Irish literature as a heavily featured woman. She comments that there are issues outside of the scope of this study that she only touched upon such as the relationship with Medb's daughter Finnabair, the issues around the likely rather late, and very defaming, death tale Aided Meidbe. I hope that there are other scholars who will or are taking new lenses to her stories, taking up the challenge.

If this review seems uncharacteristically positive, keep in mind a couple of things. One, it's hard to argue with someone pointing out that there are multiple ways to view something, because, well, there are just more views. But, full-disclosure, when I found the dissertation I looked Dr. Dominguez up and wrote her an email, because I am the sort of geek that writes fan mail to academics. I found this study to be not only informational, but very inspiring at a time when I was feeling out of sorts over my own project. I think that this study is a vital piece of the puzzle in understanding the place of women, especially women warriors, in the literature and it stands strong as part of what I think is a growing body of work on women of Early Gaelic culture, both literary and historical. So, yes, I highly recommend this book to every Celtophile out there who wants a deeper look at Medb, or women in general, in the culture. I would like to recommend it even more strongly to those who think they already have it all figured out.

The one real quibble I have with the book is something I suspect is in the publisher's hands, which is that the index is clearly not as complete as it could be.

As an aside, I have to admit that I was also delighted to learn that Dr. Dominguez has not only concerned herself with this literary warrior woman of Early Ireland, but also has an interest in depictions in our own pop culture. Two essays she's had published relating to this are "It's Not Easy Being a Cast Iron Bitch": Sexual Difference and the Female Action Hero and Tough and Tender, Buff and Brainy: A New Breed of Female Television Action Hero Blurs the Boundaries of Gender. It's just nice to know that I'm not alone in combining these two interests.

"...led by a mare..."

2011-12-15T10:16:00.000-08:00

In a short time, possibly today, I will be posting a book review for Dr. Diana Dominguez' Historical Residues in the Old Irish Legends of Queen Medb: An Expanded Interpretation of the Ulster Cycle which explores Medb's story through the theories of gender performance and the reading of coding in literature. But I'm distracted, as I was when I first read this, by what had long been a pet peeve of mine that her concepts have allowed me to reconsider a bit. That is one line, just one line, in the Táin Bó Cuailnge, one that not only offended as a feminist, but I found just stupid as a horsewoman.

‘That is what usually happens,’ said Fergus, ‘to a herd of horses led by a mare. Their substance is taken and carried off and guarded as they follow a women who has misled them.’
copied here from Rec 1 pg. 237

Now, while it doesn't seem (frankly the OI is beyond me here) that he is actually saying that a herd of horses is better led by a stallion, that's an obvious implication. But here's the thing that bugs me. The Irish are fairly well considered good horse people. Therefore they should have known one basic little fact. Stallions do not lead herds. Mares do.

This is such common knowledge in the horse world, except for a few hard-headed idiots who might consider themselves horsemen but will never get anyway, that I'm loathed to bother to reference it. Pretty much go to anything on various wild or feral herds, anything on pasture breeding, any of the Natural Horsemanship type trainers and you'll find it. However, this crossed my FB page recently and so I don't have to hunt anything down and this demonstrates that some horses are so fundamentally dependent on mares they can't sleep without one to tell them it's okay.

Mares lead the herd, they do determine where to find water and safe passage. The single stallion of a herd is there for two or three reasons. To breed. To keep other stallions from separating off some of the mares from the rest of the herd which would make the herd too small and vulnerable. And, on occasion, to throw himself at predators being the most expendable and easily replaced member of the herd (something one might note Medb's story demonstrates as well). If the "substance" of a herd "is taken and carried off" it would actually be the stallion's fault, because that's his job, leadership isn't. A mare would be leading, as is her job.

So considering coding, this reads as, well, perhaps something more. Remember Medb has gotten what she wanted, humiliation of Ulster by successfully carrying of the Brown and the continuation of her rule by equaling her husband's bounty, once both the bulls are dead. It came with great destruction, of course. Fergus, btw, has never been a character I respected and I Dominguez does demonstrate that the respect he seems to get from some, usually male, academics does not seem to match his obvious treacherous behavior.

Now, there is a chance that all the clerics who wrote this down didn't know a damn thing about horses and like some misogynist men today really do think that stallion is the boss. But you have to figure someone took it as a joke through all this time. Perhaps it even was meant to be, at least by one person copying it even if he didn't originate it. A joke by Fergus? A joke on Fergus? Perhaps more horse savvy listeners to the tales took it as a joke on the naive teller?

But whether it was ever read that way, to me, today, as a feminist and a horsewoman, I think it's damn funny. I'll always see it as that.

Copyright © 2011 Kym Lambert

F- words and several W- words and some stuff that starts with other letters

2011-10-31T17:36:00.000-07:00

Actually, it's mostly "w" I'll likely discuss here, but the "f" part probably grabs more attention. ~;p

A recent "discussion" some friends of mine were in, which I won't go into here (but if you bother to go looking I do have a public note on it on FB...but, no, not even going to go there) brought to light that I don't always use certain words publicly to describe myself. This has led some people who do not know me to outright say that I reject at least one of them. That would be "witch." People who claim that are, to put it as politely as I'm able to (as I pointed one to said FB page and STILL haven't received an apology), full of shit. I do. Note, I use the lower case...it's not a religious title, it does not have the same meaning as Wiccans attribute to it. In no way would it refer to anything anyone would want to make acceptable to the mainstream society, but we'll get to that in a moment. The word ties in totally with other "w" words that I am and/or do, some of which also begin with "w."

The claim of those who wanted me to not use this term because they've decided, in their own little minds, that Celtic Reconstructionist Pagans* never, ever, ever use it, is that it's disrespectful to those in the living culture who do not want it applied to them. Well, I'm NOT applying it to anyone else. I'm applying it to me. I'm doing so for many reasons, some which are more personal than I usually go into. But I want a record, for those who next come across these people making this claim...I am a fucking witch.

Those Big Nose** CRs note that "witch" is used in Gaelic culture (in translation, of course) to refer to a malevolent magic user. This, of course, would fly in the face of those Wiccans and others who are trying to get it "reclaimed" as a nice word, something it never has been. And they are, actually, right, I totally agree. The difference is that while they also want to be acceptable to the mainstream, apparently, I do not. I think that anyone reading this knows I identify my path as that of the Outlaw Warrior Poets, the Fianna and here is our first f-word, being seen as "nice" or "safe" is not part of my agenda.

Now, I am not comfortable using the term "Fianna" for what I am involved in, outright. I would not, that is, I'd not say I belong to the Fianna because that means something particular in modern day Ireland which I'm not a part of (this is not to say whether or not I am supportive, I'll not bring up such things here, simple to say they have a claim to it that I'm not going to bother challenging). I do describe myself as a ban-fhiannaidh on occasion but I think when I do it's usually clear that I've got my tongue planted in my cheek a bit and, like I do with that w-word you're all familiar with here, I feel I'm still and probably always will be in this life time just aspiring to it. Perhaps even more so, as I've never quite mastered the tests noted in the lore and am of an age where it's not likely to happen. I might refer to my path as being of the fiannaiocht, the way of the Fianna, inspired by these tales. I tend to skirt around the term, due to the politics, as I noted.

There are other terms in Gaelic for warrior that relate to the outsiders. Díberg is one, which is a term considered far more odious, meaning a "brigand" for which it might be said that fian was sort of a clean-up although that term was not considered particular seemly and properly Christian by the clerics either. (McCone, West) There is, of course, gaisgeach and it's various forms, which also are found when describing female warriors such as Símha inghen Chorrluirgnig, who is referred to as “…badhb & ban-ghaisgedach do muinntir Ghuill í…” “…witch and warrior-woman in Goll’s retinue….” (Cath Maigh Léna, also Heijda "4.2 Witches") Oh, there we go that other w-word again.

So, back to that, badb in lower case is found throughout the literature to describe somewhat different classes of beings, as opposed to also being the name of a Goddess who is in the sisterhood with An Morrígan and Macha, and sometimes conflated with the former in a complexity which I'll get into in a very long article and a longer book someday, maybe. Heijda discusses all of the variant uses and findings of the word badb, including "witch" throughout the essay listed below and especially in the section "4.2 Witches." That there is this combination of badb probably meaning what we refer to as "witch" and "warrior woman" is, of course, of great interest to me.

We see this sort of combination in various ways, the magic or mystical combined with the warrior woman. Indeed, it's a strong point of the War Goddesses, including Badb (and again, yeah, it's coming someday if it doesn't burst something in my brain first). Scáthach is shown to be a Seer as well as a trainer of warriors. And we have another f-word I use in my practice fàisneachd, prophecy or Sight.

There are other terms which come up for "war witch" that I find interesting but a bit taxing for my limited Old Irish. You see accounts of Goddesses in both the First and Second Battles of Magh Turedh using magic, with a similar but not quite identical term. The term used in the First Battle for Badb, Macha and an Morrígan was bantuathacha which is translated by Fraser as “sorceresses,”(Fraser, pg. 44, para 48) but which is translated by MacAlister LGÉ as “female farmer or landowner." (MacAlister, pg. 122-123, 160-161 regarding Ernmas, see pg. 150-151, 180-181 and 230-231 regarding Be Chuille and Danann --the last is translated as the odd “farmeresses”) In the Second Battle, Be Chuille and Danann offer spells to Lugh's question of what all can provide and are referred to as bantúathaid, which would be properly "sorceresses" or "witches" and specifically malevolent ones. (CMT, Gray's translation para 116-117 , pg. 53-54 in Irish given)

For the actual translations of the words see eDIL for the masculine forms tuathach and túathaid and use the "fuzzy" option as it seems impossible to direct to a translation. While Kondratiev suggests this replacement was a “…misunderstanding of the original word…" (Kondratiev) I wonder if there might have been more to such a change. However, my language skills are not up to such an exploration at this point and right now I sort of just like the idea of witch and farmer being somewhat blurry distinctions. Being that farmer is another f-word I'm aspiring to.

I don't talk about the witchy or mystical stuff much, in fact I actually started a blog post about my mystical practices several months ago. It ended up becoming a rant on why I don't write about "woo" and started to feel pointless and so it was greatly truncated and only mentioned as a part of another post. The experiment of writing about magic, trance work, Seership and all that woo-woo witchy stuff remains worked on offline. I'm not really going into it here. I'm just talking about identity here.

And again, I'm a witch. And a would-be warrior. And a Seer.

Along with this those of you who have been paying attention would realize there is another w-word I use, but am often reluctant at using too much or loudly although I have here a few times now.... werewolf. Again, connected to the Fianna/Outlaw Warriors, usually with the Old Irish f-word fáelad or "wolfing."(McCone, West) When it comes to female werewolves the legal tracks mention confail conrecta "a woman who likes to stray in wolf-shape" (Bitel, pg. 219-220, Carey, pg. 64-68) although whether she might stray with the warbands is not mentioned. But you never know, I mean, they were wandering about too. Wandering outside of society....hmmmmm.....

Just as my definition of "witch" has nothing to do with the way Wiccans or many others in the NeoPagan community use it, my sort of wolfiness has nothing to do with Otherkin or therianthropy communities either. There are many differences, one again being the angst over being "understood" or accepted or what ever which is often a central theme. Or angst in general. I'm not some lost soul born in the wrong body, I'm someone who seeks deeply into myself and the Otherworld to embrace a beast that I can be and I'm the only one who has to embrace it...or can. It's again about seeking that wilderness, about becoming primal in my body and taking a particular form to travel "astrally" and not about seeking an online community. (I have noted before that A Wolf-Man, Not A Wolf In Man's Clothing is the one blogger out there who I can relate to at all on this, although we do vary in many ways as well)

All these things I am were not considered favorable by the ancient Irish societal laws that we know, which were Christian. We have no way of knowing, truly, what the pre-Christians thought of them, but these things were, in fact, considered "other" and, yes, "pagan." These were indeed seen as negative things, but I embrace them and rather than embrace the thinking that shunned them. I have no interest in bringing them out of the wild. In the Brehon laws, none of these things that I am were given honor price nor even sick maintenance. (Kellly, also Bitel, pg. 219-220, Carey, pg. 64-68 specific to female werewolves)

Being outside, being counter-culture, being subversive to a sick society was once embraced by many of us, but sometimes I feel alone. In the '70s, and yes I'm old enough to remember, the word "witch" was adopted by many feminists to equate with a woman who was dangerous to the patriarchy and to the gender status quo. At the time there was even some contention between feminists who never heard of Wicca and the Wiccans who felt they alone owned the term (as some still do), but, of course, some of those women became Wiccan and even developed their own traditions. Many already felt that was giving into a mainstream. I like "witch" for some of the same reasons they did, as well.

There is a power to being outside that I think some forget. The "noble savage" might be a naive trope, but the reality of what that can mean in a real sense about morality is something we might want to consider. It is much like the issue of if we can be "good" if we do not believe in eternal punishment, can we be good if we reject a society's notion of "good" and "evil?" Is what is outside malevolent and dangerous not because it's truly evil, but because it doesn't obey the cultural constricts of what "good" and "evil" mean? Is there not more honor in being good and just when there is no societal reward for it, when, in fact, society may not truly be good or just? Am I stuck in the past because I still believe in this? Fortunately, there are those Occupying the streets of many cities for several weeks now who also are questioning this. So, no maybe not.

I do not fully understand why some who I know embraced these ideas have become so fully invested in placating those who wish to restrain us. But I put this out there so that if anyone has any question as to whether I have changed my status with culture, it is here. I am a witch, I am a would-be Outlaw Warrior Poet, I am wolfish at times, I am a Seer and a mystic. Don't fucking tell anyone any different.

(For more about warrior women in Irish Literature see Once Upon A Time.... and The Warrior who Knew No Art of Wounding for more on my trying to put this shit together see A place where things come together, Weighing things out and Ramblings about Serving the War Goddesses or...)

Bibliography

Lisa Bitel, Land of Women: Tales of Sex and Gender from Early Ireland, Ithaca: Cornell University Press, 1996

John Carey, "Werewolves in Medieval Ireland," Cambrian Medieval Celtic Studies 44 (Winter 2002)

Cath Maige Tuired: The Second Battle of Mag Tuired in Irish Elizabeth Gray, trans. Dublin: Irish Text Society,

Cath Maigh Léna for the Irish, Kenneth H. Jackson, ed. Cath Maighe Léna Dublin: 1930 or E. Curry, ed & tr, Cath Mhuighe Léana or The Battle of Mag Léana together with Tochmarc Moméra or the Courtship of Moméra Dublin: 1855

J. Fraser "The First Battle of Moytura." Ériu 8, 1915, English translation

Kim Heijda, “War-goddesses, furies and scald crows: The use of the word badb in early Irish literature” thesis, University of Utrecht, Feb. 27, 2007

Fergus Kelly. A Guide to Early Irish Law, Dublin: Dublin Institute for Advanced Studies (School of Celtic Studies), 2001

Alexie Kondratiev, “Danu and Bile: The Primordial Parents?”

RAS MacAlister, ed. and trans., Lebor Gabála Érenn: The Book of the Taking of Ireland Vol IV. Dublin:Irish Text Society, 1941

Kim McCone, “Werewolves, Cyclopes, Díberga and Fíanna: Juvenile Delinquency in Early Ireland” Cambridge Medieval Celtic Studies, issue 12, 1986

Máire West, "Aspects of Díberg in the Tale Togail Bruidne Da Derga," Zeitschrift für celtische Philologie (ZcP) , Volume 49-50

*They also do not like "Pagan" and all I'll say to that is that yes, I DID initially use "Pagan" and that was the original term "Celtic Reconstructionist PAGAN" because otherwise what the fuck are we reconstructing? "Celtic?" No, we're reconstructing Pagan paths based on the Celtic culture we're called to/come from/whatever. Anything else is as big an insult to the living culture as I can think of. If they do not like the "Pagan" part why the fuck are they using my term at all? And, YES, I was the first...for several years before others who claim to have "founded" it ever used it and even longer before they actually stopped doing Wiccan ritual by their own fucking admission at the time.

"Big Nose Pagan" has long been a term used in place of "Big Name Pagans" especially for those who aren't really that big of name but do like to stick their noses in other people's business.

Copyright © 2011 Kym Lambert
Graphic Copyright © JBL Statues

20 Years Ago Among Cranes

2011-10-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

It's been 20 years since I last attending Twilight Covening, so I'm noting mentions of this one popping up on my flist. That was a powerful event for me in many ways, it was a big time of change for me anyway, a lot of what I feel defines me today started that year. The group I was in was a warrior group, Cranes; the leaders of it are still people I count as friends (at least on FB, it's been awhile since I've seen either in person). I was sick as a dog....so was almost everyone. I had a powerful vision during the event which I think set my feet where they needed to be as opposed to the wandering I was doing.

It was also odd and jarring and made me realize I probably wouldn't attend again. It as when I first realized I didn't really fit in the Pagan community at all, by this time I was pretty much not practicing Wicca any longer, was already on the warrior path, but I hadn't really thought about how different I had become. It was, of course, clearest at the group ritual although we ended up with fire and that worked out well. But I know I felt apart from the rest; I think all in our group did for that time, some of us appreciating it, others feeling at odds with it. Many were and remained active not only in the general Pagan community but in Earthspirit.

How much that event changed me and how much it just gave ritual to the changes I was going through is something I probably can never sort out. Some are obvious, I was already more serious about weight lifting and the martial arts by this time, having done both for a few years at that point. Then again, some of my perceptions on those things may have changed during the event. I do know that compared to any other such event, including the TC of the year before, it has made a lasting impression. There are other reasons for that feeling which I won't go into here.

One impression is that, man, I really sort of thought I'd have gone a bit further along my work than I have. But things always get in the way. 10 years ago I had a stark reminder that at least I still have time, while there are others who what ever they did already was it for this lifetime. And, yet, other things still get in the way and I haven't done that much since then. But I'm still here *knockswood* and so a bit more down the path I go.

I am hoping that that means finishing Teh Project soon and writing in this blog more...and blogging stuff other than this fucking navel gazing which I realize I'm doing again.

On Friday I get ink, a piece that is something I probably should have gotten 20 or at least 10 years ago. Which all relates to this. Putting things on my body helps me solidify what I'm doing. We'll see what this one grounds in me.

I have always looked through the TC information each year, first the paper mailings I still got and then on the website. There is a part of me that still desires doing something like that. Of all the gatherings out there, the concept of Twilight Covening remains the most intriguing, I think most useful. It's not a "social" focused gathering, with various rituals to pick and choose from and that participants can take down time from if they wish and just hang out. Each person signs up ahead of time for a working group, you stay with that group (some even require sleeping in the same location and eating all meals together), each group focuses on some aspect of work and they do it together.

There hasn't been a group focus that has called to me, or if there has there has been something that has put me off to the actual group. Often it's the utter vagueness of the descriptions sometimes it's just knowing who the leaders are. Each year I feel more distant from what it's about. I want that sort of focused working, but, well, yeah....on different things. Of course, there still isn't enough interest at this point for a Reconstructionist focused event like this. Hopefully someday there will be, but there are a lot of steps to take before that works out, I think.

But as I see all these "I'm back from Twilight and wow..." posts on FB, I'm thinking again. Two decades. Fuck.

Changing jobs, deepening vocation

2011-10-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

I left my job recently. This is a good thing, but it's left me thinking a lot about this path and how the job did, didn't and should have related. It wasn't a "warrior job" in the sense that those who claim all warriors must do "warrior jobs" such as serve in the military or be law enforcement officers. I was basically a baby sitter, although if you go by hourly pay I was less well paid than most are these days from what I hear, although I got full-time hours and, therefore, benefits. I was a night watch person at a camp for troubled youth. So I was a babysitter who walked around in the woods and kept fires going. But it fit for someone on the Outlaw warrior path.

I rather liked the job at first, although switching back to nights had been difficult for me. After most of a lifetime of being very nocturnal by nature, I seemed to switch suddenly when I moved back to the North Country about 11 years ago now. I thought I could switch back easily, but it was hard for me. Otherwise, it was great, I like wandering in the woods, liked time to myself. I liked that connection that I noted with my path.

See, the Outlaw Warrior bands, the Fianna, were made up of young men, possibly some women as I've discussed here before, who were basically seen as unfit for society to live until they were. That was, primarily when they were marriageable and could inherit.* Obviously, there are stark differences between camps such as this and the old war bands, for example, they're not taught fighting arts but rather to not fight (yet many might end up in the military in their future so....). Yet it's, well, reflective...reflective is a favorite word of mine if you've not noticed (consider the name of my home is "sgàthan").

In the context, I was even an outsider among outsiders, being there to guard at night only. The teaching fénnidi and banfénnidi there are the counselors. I remember being hit by this passage from The Wisdom of the Outlaw:

"("They gave Finn the task of keeping watch during the night, and he was told to wake up a fénnid if he heard anything calamitous"). We have already seen that one of the duties of Finn's fían is to protect human society and its borders. In the present episode, as part of his initiation ito a fían, Finn is to stand watch for his fellow fénnidi. Like the ideal gill described by Cormac, he is to listen carefully in the forest and be alert during his watch. Finn stands guard on the periphery of a peripheral group; in this stance his being a chronic outsider is all the more obvious." pg. 176

And to some extent during this time I was able to work out some new concepts and connections with my path. But due to the circumstances of the job, I was also limited, especially over time. Because working nights took a toll on my body, and the body is an important thing to a warrior. To anyone, but all fantasy aside, it's impossible to fight with out a functioning body.

While at one point I still trained hard in what I already was doing and even took some time to start firearms training, my body started to burn out. I started to sleep less, my fitness level was deteriorating despite working out, I was just fucking tired all the fucking time.

Somewhere along there I got back to work on Teh Project again, however, so that was a plus. But as my body began to show wear, so did my mind. My periods of concentration often were short, a real problem as some of this stuff is pretty mind boggling to begin with.

With concentration goes the ability to do the spiritual work involved, namely the trance work. And as my body was tired, going out into the woods and into a fugue state became more limited. Obviously, I couldn't go into altered states at work, even if I was in the woods.

Other things which I consider related, such as working with my young, spoiled horse and dealing with prepping/homesteading stuff also were a problem.

I realized to a large extent, I was not living the path to the extent I need to be. I also realized that the crappy pay and crap benefits were no longer worth it. And for the past few weeks I've been regaining my equilibrium, repairing my body, starting to build up on the amount of training I'm doing (although I have a long way to go) and getting some progress with my horse and prepping. Writing not so much yet, trance work not at all yet. I still need more recovery for those things. And winter is coming, it will be a time to focus on some of that harder when we're settled in for the season.

My mate is taking more shifts and will be developing himself more as an EMT. I will try to build something of a fitness business, but it's a rough location even in better times for that. I may also go for my EMT certification, maybe. We'll also see what else comes along that can help us survive.

What I am getting here is that I strive to find a way to learn and build from all things that I do, starting this job enriched my path, leaving it at this time does so too. Onward to what ever comes.

*See, for example, Joseph Falaky Nagy. The Wisdom of the Outlaw: The Boyhood Deeds of Finn in Gaelic Narrative Tradition and Kim McCone, “Werewolves, Cyclopes, Díberga and Fíanna: Juvenile Delinquency in Early Ireland” Cambridge Medieval Celtic Studies, issue 12, 1986

Copyright © 2011 Kym Lambert

Ramblings about Serving the War Goddesses or...

2011-07-19T03:01:00.001-07:00

....what the hells AM I doing here?

I'm working on some writing, the end of that article I've mentioned and a far larger bit in Teh Project, on serving An Morrígna. My only experience is in service on the warrior path and a bit as a seer. There may be other valid ways, serving as a king would have likely been one at one time but not so much today, but I certainly do not buy the whole "She/They are not really (a) War Goddess(es)" crap that is so popular today. And the "She/They aren't JUST (a) War Goddess(es)" falls into the whole denigration of warrior into some dumb killing machine. Fertility, cattle and sovereignty are in no way the opposite of warfare as practiced in Gaelic culture. But...yeah, the article is almost done...no really,...although what exactly "almost" means is another matter.

At the time I first started working on this section, to then find some material that drew me to work on something else, there seemed to be a spate of blog posts by those not on the path, people not soldiers or cops, either, claiming that only soldiers, and maybe cops, were warriors. One person seemed reasonable and worth chatting up so I did, I like the guy, I felt he listened to my take. We might not totally agree, probably not on anything, but do I need to point out that this is sort of par for course with me? I like his blog in general, now that I found it and I may or may not have found it if he hadn't written on the topic and I was looking at the time.

Most, however, wrote in such a manner to show that such an attempt was going to be a waste of time and energy, possibly even sanity. I realized in thinking why I didn't feel like bothering that these folk didn't live in the same world I did. They live in a world where violence is never going to happen to them and if it did the nice cops will come and rescue them and the courts would fix things. The soldiers will keep all enemies at bay in other countries and nothing like 911 will ever happen on our soil again. Katrina might have been bad and maybe there was chaos and bloodshed after, but it's all fixed now, right? And it's not going to happen again. Or here, anyway. And when it does these folk will be sure to vacate in time. And with the latter, they probably do have the resources.

We don't create our own realities, not really. I'm a firm believer in that. BUT sometimes we do, as long as nothing bad happens. And for many people, especially white, middle class types, it might not. Although, well, most aren't working or so middle class these days; a lot of folks who probably still consider themselves middle class, really, aren't in that income bracket. But I digress. Sort of.

At the other end, of course, are those bloggers who claim that being a Pagan warrior is all about the "inner battles" and has nothing to do with fighting at all. Martial arts might be an enjoyable way of recreating, but it's not what being a warrior is about. Certainly NO GUNS! Soldiers are not warriors, or might be, but not because they fight but only if they do proper ritual inner battles too. If they're doing it right they won't want to soldiers. And being a warrior means you're all noble and heroic and shit like that. But your only battles are within.

Um, yeah. And, again, different world where everything outside ones own head is apparently quite safe.

So, I'm in the middle again as it were. Or just feeling outside this whole thing all together. In a different world.

Now, mind you, things can be perfectly safe. I don't expect an armed intruder to burst through my door any moment. But, you know, ...I don't know that one won't so there are loaded weapons in the house that we can access. And I know how to use almost everything in this house as a weapon if that didn't work out. Something always COULD happen.

Here's my definitions: a "person on the warrior path" is someone who trains for possible deadly encounters. Whether a professional or not. For whom it is a focus (some might train but not put the priority in it or want to claim to be on the path and that's their prerogative).

A "warrior" is someone who is on the path but is also, as Ambrose Hollingworth Redmoon put it, is initiated by an other warrior, that is in a life or death fight. (in "No Peaceful Warriors!," Gnosis #21, Fall 1991, republished in Rick Fields, ed. The Awakened Warrior: Living with Courage, Compassion & Discipline, New York: Putnam Book 1994 and personal correspondence)

So, soldiers and cops are indeed more likely to be initiated. Not all of the rest of us will be. In some areas cops don't have all that much opportunity, either, but that doesn't mean they're not going to be prepared. There have been times when soldiers don't get as much chance for initiation either, but the past ten years have offered multiple chances to many. Again, but the job is to stay on the path, prepared.

A soldier may be a warrior, but not all warriors are soldiers. There are other aspects to being in the military that make it impossible for all who might feel called to be prepared. Likewise to be a law enforcement officer. A certain trust in systems, at least in yourself within such systems, that some of us don't have. That some of us don't have to a degree that might inspire us to some extent.

I admit that I use "a warrior" an awful lot when I mean "someone on the warrior path" simply because it really gets annoying to write the "someone on the warrior path" repeatedly. It might be lazy, but it's also less for you to read. I'm about to commit this wrongdoing many times in the rest of this post..any time I say "a warrior" I can mean someone who is initiated or not, unless the actual meaning is obvious.

A warrior does not have to be honorable, noble or heroic to be a warrior. These are great things for a warrior to be, I highly recommend them. But, honestly, I don't believe that it's part of the definition of "warrior" or "warrior path." There are some real scum out there who train hard, can fight well and have been initiated. They give those of us who do fancy ourselves more noble a cause. ~;)

A warrior does not need to be spiritual. And if s/he is, it can be any spirituality. It may or may not involve "fighting inner battles." Obviously, a Pagan warrior must be Pagan. Chances are s/he also serves a War Deity, but some might focus on others and many are Polytheistic to the point where they may serve no specific Ones. One of the statements I saw among the "only soldiers are warriors" postings was something along the line of there being a difference between being a warrior and worshiping a Warrior Deity. Well, yeah, there can be, as I said at the top here. There are probably other roles....but this is where I'm going with this, really, there's sort of a direction to this rant.

I've written about this before, of course, in the article this blog is titled after as well as references in this blog. When I was called by An Morrígan, I had been quite a pacifist, my world seemed safer even though I had been a victim once AND it was a far more dangerous time as far as crime rates than today. My world changed and I had to. Because whether others could serve Her/Them in other ways, I was expected to train. To walk the path if not ever be initiated. That's what She says and, guess what, She trumps some random blogger's opinion. Just the way it is.

This is the way the world became to me, dangerous. Yes, crime is down in the nearly 25 years since this happened, but there are factors in there which actually make the odds no different for me, living here. It doesn't change the fact that it still takes a considerable time, even longer than it does in an urban area (which is still always, always too long) for the police to arrive to a call. It doesn't change that I can't "date" protection which looking back I realized I often did. Or that doing that constantly puts women in danger from that "protection." Things might indeed be better statistically, but it doesn't mean any of us is exactly safe or can depend on the help of others.

And, here's where I remind you I'm a crazy survivalist, things are getting worse. Hey, there's seership here too, right? But one doesn't need that skill, really. The very Earth is telling us so, very loudly; while truly crazy people who could have the power to make positive changes are denying it. The economy is crashing and there's little real work being done to fix things in a sustainable way. Do you really wonder why many of us have turned to finding ways to do this ourselves, whether the "bunker" types or the homesteaders?

Truth is, of course, I have only met a few folks who feel called this way by Her/Them. Very few and most have ended up with some obvious reason for such a stance. So, I think I was struck recently by this post about feelings stirring after a ritual to An Morrígan, that appear to have been quite unexpected by the person writing. What exactly is it we're all feeling and why are we feeling this need to DO SOMETHING? (Check out the rest of the blog, as the statue project is interesting and I'm feeling pulled to do something like that too....but different, probably a more "primitive" style..problem is, I don't have much talent in those things...but I'm thinking looking over the shooting range)

Many of us joke with it, code it, as The Zombie Apocalypse or The War with the Machines but our training is not a joke. Even if we are sometimes unclear what we're training for. There's something. There's a feeling. I suppose the "sane" would say it's a paranoia.

And I'm not talking about "rising up against" anyone or forming militias, as much as, well, just being ready for what ever. What ever comes down the road. And if nothing comes, if things get better rather than worse, then that's all good. Better to be prepared for something that doesn't happen than not prepared for something that does.

------------------------------------------------------

An Morrígan/Badb's prophecy:

I shall not see a world that will be dear to me.
Summer without flowers,
Kine will be without milk,
Women without modesty,
Men without valour,
Captures without a king.

[gap: extent: approx. 6 words]

Woods without mast,
Sea without produce,

[gap: extent: approx. 40 words]

Wrong judgments of old men,
False precedents of brehons,
Every man a betrayer,
Every boy a reaver.
Son will enter his father's bed,
Father will enter his son's bed,
Everyone will be his brother's brother-in-law.

[gap: extent: 8 words]

An evil time!
Son will deceive his father,
Daughter will deceive her mother.
Cath Maige Tuired /The Second Battle of Moytura Whitley Stokes translation

Copyright © 2011 Kym Lambert

Weighing things out

2011-07-06T00:07:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I blogged here, and I hate starting a post with what is essentially an apology for not blogging. So consider it just an acknowledgement. It's not that I've not been bloggin. I've got a series of fitness posts going up at The Sarah Connor Charm School Blog, some horse related political stuff at Our Stories are Written in the Language of Equus and a painful lament for our goat Randvér as well as the Old Clucker and some local political stuff at the homesteading blog Dùn Sgàthan Notes.

Things have been busy and a bit heavy, not just the loss of animals at the Dùn, but I've also recently got my AFAA Personal Fitness Trainer certification reinstated. This is a good step which does not come without some tribulations. There is a reason I left the fitness business several years ago and a reason why when I first went to get reinstated I lost interest.

I've always had a certain issue with the industry. My focus in fitness was about strength and health. A scrawny weak kid, I always wanted to be bigger and stronger. I sort of was aware that there was a stronger focus, for women, in the industry on thinness than I had, but it wasn't until I got the lovely mixed messages within the industry that how horrible it is really hit home. After all, I got training when I was first certified to recognize eating disorders with the message we were to try to counter them. But the reality when you start working in the industry is that the message is Weight Loss, Weight Loss, Weight Loss.

This not only doesn't interest me, it offends me. This is not what fitness is, it's an illusion of health and fitness put in place of real health and fitness. When you find that many training programs for women are designed to diminish the body, make it smaller. Not only in weight loss, but, especially with leg work, by over training muscle. All those multitudes of reps, that does not strengthen. It might build endurance, up until you start getting injuries, but only for those pointless moves not for, you know, running or walking. The message that "women can't get bulky, but you better do lots and lots of reps to make sure you don't" just is, well, aggravating.

The "weight loss" message might be a great selling point for some. I am finding difficult come up with language for my fitness website that informs that I don't want to focus on weight loss with clients that doesn't also drive people to those who promise weight loss. I know some will seek those promises out. I also know that some people feel abused by the constant focus on weight loss, as I wrote about in my first real post here. I have found a great community, Health At Every Size which is focused on this concept. In a better economy and a heavier populated area, I think such a focus can work out well...as it is, no matter what I promise, I'm probably not going to make a great living up here.

But my real purpose for getting certified again was for writing. There is a chapter in Teh Project about fitness training and I figured it would be good to have that certification again. Oh, and then as I mentioned, this now makes me "fitness director" or some shit at The Sarah Connor Charm School. ~;p However, there are more changes. So, while I might not have a lucrative business here, I might be in a position to soon take a few clients. Hence having started a website.

Yes, there are changes coming. Perhaps. We'll see. I'm waiting.

Meanwhile, I write off- and on-line. If not so much here at this blog lately. As I had been working to expand this blog, as much of it is about sort of practicing or thinking "out loud" on issues around Teh Project, I had been working on a post about some of my mystical practices. No, really, it all relates for me even if it seems a divergence to others; and that's sort of my point. I realized that with A Place Where Things Come Together it might seem that my spiritual practice is all about praying while working out or something, but while it all ties together, there is this whole mystical practice that includes, well, shapeshifting. Or at least consciousness shifting which manifests in a very physical way, although not in the true "turning into a wolf or something" sort of way. "Ríastrad" (warp spasm) or fáelad" (wolfing); which for me are about focus and transformation, of a sort. Yeah, even my ecstatic stuff is physical. What can I say. (There are other transformative practices in a Gaelic context, I recommend A Wolf-Man, Not A Wolf In Man's Clothing who does good research and is able to discuss various lycanthrophy practices in a Celtic and related cultures, for those wishing to explore these sorts of things more.)

While the attempt to write something for this blog has been tossed at this point, the exercise worked as far as breaking the block I had for Teh Project and That Article. Hopefully, rather soon, the latter will be shown to the first readers and then published online. It still won't have a lot of details, that will take longer. But it'll be a start in me sharing something that is very difficult for me to share.

It's not that I don't believe these things should be SOOPER SEKRET, really, I think they should be shared. In fact, in light of the issue that many think that warp spasm is just, well, losing ones temper, freaking out, going out of control while on the other hand being seen as a substitution for physical training, I think it's important to discuss this more. Because the practice is anything but these things. My problem is that it's something that I just have trouble putting into words, especially written words. But words are happening. They're just going to take a lot of work getting into an order that is sharable.

Now, of course, while I still plug at that, the fitness chapter is also a focal point. Because, you know, I got this shiny new certification. And if things work out, I might be getting a whole other one because, well, there are reason I might wish to affiliate with another organization as well as if not instead of. But that will require workshops which would require travel and until I'm out of the night watch gig, that's not really possible.

I admit that I hate night watch now with a passion. I liked it a lot at first. I liked how working a job like this at a camp for troubled boys correlated in a way to the whole Fianna thing. Trying to do all else I need to do on a nocturnal schedule, however, is not so good. Time to move to another stage.

And then I'll have more training stuff to write about here. More time to hit the range (or build one here...that isn't happening like I had hoped, but I guess I'll have to do that myself). Perhaps a chance to return to MA training which is out of the question on this schedule as the nearest place is too far away. That is, of course, if there is money to do so. It's all being weighed out. And it may weigh out on the side of me staying as night watch, that remains to be seen.

So, mostly this is me writing on why I'm not writing here. Again. But maybe I will be more.

Copyright © 2011 Kym Lambert

The Warrior who Knew No Art of Wounding

2011-04-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

In a previous post I noted the idea of finding inspiration in the stories of ancient Gaelic ban-fhénnid and indeed you can find many tales online and in books retelling and extrapolating these stories to be more positive than they may have been. One issue, of course, is that not all of these retellings are labeled as such, this is especially true, it seems, within the NeoPagan community but a second source tends to be tourist literature. There are many out there who think they know more about Scáthach or Medb than is really in the texts, which if given the label Unsubstantiated Personal Gnosis is fine, but at least in the non-Pagan sources UPG certainly isn't a factor. There is, btw, quite a great deal on Medb in the text that is not so widely shared, while Scáthach actually has far less material on her. (Diana Veronica Dominguez, Historical Residues in the Old Irish Legends of Queen Medb: An Expanded Interpretation of the Ulster Cycle, Lewiston, NY: Edwin Mellen Press, 2010 is an excellent study of Medb using tales often not bothered with, making her far more human and far less a joke than what is usually focused on)

I believe one of the keys to using these stories wisely, is to be very clear about the fact we are making changes to them. Again looking at Medb, especially as examined by Dominquez, we can retell her story through what we as women can imagine are her eyes, rather than of the male eye which may use the tale to mock a woman making war. We can also emphasize things that some scholars choose to ignore in retelling her story. In order to point out that her quest for the bull in the Táin Bó Cúalnge is the folly of a haughty woman, it's often left out that she, in fact, also had a reasonable quest for revenge against her former husband Conchobar, who had raped her and killed her son . Medb's story really has a lot to offer in retelling without actually changing much or adding anything. Yet in retelling it we must be clear that it's a different perspective from the way the Ulster Tales came down to us, possibly a different perspective than it was viewed by anyone before.

Scáthach, and most of the other warrior women in the texts, we really don't have much on. It's in this that we see that while there may be many female warrior names banted about, their stories are very much peripheral to the stories of male warriors, saints or they died horribly in place-name tales. If we tell more of her story than what is in the texts, we likewise need to be clear. For many of us these tellings might be UPG,even SPG (Shared Personal Gnosis), but to those who don't believe, or simply don't believe your UPG, stories from such sources are merely modern fictions. I believe it's okay to have them, we just must be clear that these are not from the source.

Even Macha Mong Ruadh, whose story as a warrior queen is short but quite detailed and positive for her, I believe (although, you know, everyone dies at some point in every tale), offer's caution. When we tell the tale we might be clear that when she lures the brothers one-by-one into the forest she overtakes them by her own hand. But it's not actually told what happens in those woods. Someone who does not see women as capable of overpowering men, oh what sheltered lives they must lead, might be thinking she used magic, the only power many think women can ever have, especially those who don't believe in magic, or had warriors waiting even if this version notes that she bound them.

So, yes, we can retell, we can extrapolate, but we must be clear that's what we're doing. And I think we also must take care not to go too far. After all, if a story is of a woman who is clearly not a fighter, why make her so when there are those who are? If we're going to totally create a new character, should we give her a name of one that is the opposite of what she is. And while we might do this in fiction, non-fiction commentary on literature and history should be way out.

The most stunning example of completely changing the story of a woman in the texts, and not revealing that it is a modern fiction and not what is in the texts, is not actualy from either NeoPagan or a tourism agency, it's from academic and novelist Peter Berresford Ellis.

I think he was even stretching it to describe Erni (aka Erne for whom Loch nErne was named) as Medb's warrior his "Peter Tremayne" novel Badger's Moon (Sister Fidelma #13, NY: St. Martin's Press, 2005), however, he lists her as such also in Celtic Women: Women in Celtic Society and Literature (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Wm.B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1996 pg. 73). This is now happily repeated by countless NeoPagan websites and by Jessica Amanda Salmonson in The Encyclopedia of Amazons: Women Warriors from Antiquity to the Modern Era (University of Michigan, Pagagon Press, 1991). Admittedly, her work is full of poorly substantiated entries, with fiction and historical women noted as equally valid, but in this case she might be forgiven, for scholar Ellis says Erni is a mighty warrior, so we should admire her great deeds. Mighty is Erni!

Um.....

Before recounting, with citation, Erni's great deeds, I'm going to be perfectly honest, Ellis obviously has better resources than I do, so maybe there's some lost tale about Erne (yeah, I keep changing the last letter, "e" seems more common, he uses "i" and we're discussing his work so, I'm trying to use "i" when referring to his work) that indicates this, that is totally opposite the versions I could find. If so, I shall happily stand corrected and rejoice in the finding of another warrior woman. The problem is, Ellis doesn't cite his sources (bad academic, no biscuit!).

Here are her deeds, the bold emphasis is mine, the italics are not but rather indicate a mistranslation noted on the website source, see note next to it:

13. The chaste Erne, who knew no art of wounding,
50] the daughter of loud-shouting Borg Bán
(the warrior was an overmatch for a powerful third)
the white-skinned son of Mainchin son of Mochu.

14. The noble Erne, devoid of martial spirit, (footnote here notes correct translation is 'free from venom')
was chief among the maidens
in Rath Cruachan, home of lightsome sports:
women not a few obeyed her will.

15. To her belonged, to judge of them,
the trinkets of Medb, famed for combats,
her comb, her casket unsurpassed,
60] with her fillet of red gold.

16. There came to thick-wooded Cruachu Olcai
with grim and dreadful fame,
and he shook his beard at the host,
the sullen and fiery savage.

17. 65] The young women and maidens
scattered throughout Cruach Cera
at the apparition of his grisly shape
and the roughness of his brawling voice.

18. Erne fled, with a troop of women,
70] under Loch Erne, that is never dull,
and over them poured its flood northward and
drowned them all together.
The Metrical Dindshenchas, English: The Irish

That the more accurate translation is "free from venom" is actually interesting, given this would say that she's not only not a warrior, but also harmless "even for a woman." Poison being commonly considered a "woman's weapon" by those who have throughout history seen us incapable of actual confrontational violence.

For comparison, the The Edinburgh Dinnshenchas tells the same tale and includes:

Erne with pride, a pure union,
Daughter of good Borg the Bellowing,
She fled — no deed to boast of —
Under Lough Erne for exceeding fear.
The Edinburgh Dinnshenchas, Whitley Stokes, ed. and trans., Folklore 4 (1893) pg. 476, English The Irish pg. 476

The Dinnshenchas of Dubthar, from the Book of Lecan, offers other versions, again with much fleeing and concern with chastity the "insult to the honour of her noble father." The Irish manuscript series, Vol. 1, Part 1, pg. 186-189

None of these show much warrior tendency, is there a version that does? If so, I'd love to see it and also know what period it is from. Are these the changes from an earlier warrior tale? Sadly, I'm very doubtful that any such tale exists.

Understand, that I see no shame in a woman who is not a warrior to run from a potential rapist. In fact, in most cases, I recommend running to non-professional warrior women, usually after disabling the guy in some way to increase your odds and make him easier for the authorities to catch. However, such mannerisms do not speak of a mighty warrior, a professional warrior according to Ellis, a warrior to a warrior queen. I do not understand why he'd claim she was. So maybe there's a tale I can't find?

I think as we tell ourselves stories from the past in ways that are more empowering to us than may have been intended by the original tellers, that we avoid going this far. And avoid making out that a woman in the story is something quite opposite of what she is. I don't really understand what motivation Ellis might have had in calling Erne a warrior, I'm sure he's seen all versions of this (and maybe another). But while we might want to find more warriors in the ancient stories, we need to look harder and not change the tales completely.

Text copyright © 2011 Kym Lambert
Photo of Lough Erne from Department of the Environment (DOE) Northern Ireland Environment Agency (NIEA) used under terms of Open Government License.

Wonder Woman---a rant from Goddesses to costumes to Goddesses

2011-03-27T01:28:00.000-07:00

It would be impossible that Wonder Woman has nothing at all to do with why I'm here writing this sort of stuff. But the truth is, I can't really remember how much of an influence she might have really been. It seems a lot, but I also realize some issues with those memories. Did I discover Greek Mythology or WW first?I don't know. Did I gravitate to Greek polytheism when about 9 or 10 years old due to WW or was I drawn to her due to my devotion to Artemis? I don't remember which came first.

But as the the new pilot, the recently revealed costume from it and all the blather on the web about it, she's been on my mind. Oh, and that blather several months ago about her new costume in the comic, which most people talking about the new TV movie one, mostly, don't seem to know about. Frankly, the costume even before the recent discovery I made wasn't the biggest deal. Stupid but not the biggest deal. But then, when I started reading her book (and it was always sporadic that I got them), she shortly there after wasn't wearing the Iconic Strapless Bathing Suit anyway. The Amazons had left Earth to save their powers, but Diana Prince stayed behind, gave up her powers and the Wonder Woman moniker, took up karate and opened a boutique. In some of the issues at the time, she wore a white jumpsuit, with flat soled boots, no less! So get over "she's in pants, ZOMG!" she's worn them before.

Her first TV appearance was probably largely inspired by this "Mod" version and was also blond. I'm going to admit that I liked that part, being, you know blond (which is my real hair color, although I hennaed most of my adult life, I'm black to the blond now). And she wore a skirt, with dark tights and blue boots. And was played by Cathy Lee Crosby. I don't really remember it much, but I remember being thrilled by the movie. I'm told it was actually very, very bad, but, hey, I was 12 and desperately looking for any good female character to watch. Even if it wasn't a very good show...after all, TV was not particularly good back then, anyway. And I remember desperately wanting a blond Goddess worshiping, ass kicking role model.

But no one else did so that didn't make it, and when the next pilot came along it was Lynda Carter in the Iconic Strapless Bathing Suit, WWII style...sort of. Actually the style was a bit shorter legged than the original shorts version, which followed the original skirted.

Which sort of brings us to just how much and how often the costume changed. It changed quite a bit over the years and I can hardly catalog all of it here. That's been done anyway by Carol A. Strickland at A Brief History of the Wondie Suit. She gives a great run down, but I mostly disagree with her opinion wise. See....I really sort of always hated the suit. Perhaps it was that I got some sense from the Diana Prince era of pants and sensible shoes, but fighting crime in a bathing suit just never made sense to me. Even when Carter's WW moved into the '70s with a higher cut leg.

While I won't replicate the whole run down that Strickland does, here's a look at some of the original sketches by Dr. William Moulton Marston, who created (with a bit of help from his wives) Wonder Woman under the pen name Charles Moulton. I do apologize, I have found this on so many sites and blogs that I cannot trace an original source.

This is the original suit. Note, no red boots, although they were there in the beginning once she was actually in the comics. The strappy sandals, hmmm...just another nod, such as the lasso and cuffs, to Marston's bondage lifestyle? Keep the straps in mind, now, we'll come back to that later. (However rather than diverge into Marston's lifestyle, including living with two women and believing that bondage would bring world piece, I will let SheWire.com speak in Wonder Woman Amazon Princess of Bondage and Submission? A Brief History)

So here's just a few examples of Wonder Woman costumes through the years. Again nothing compared to the Strickland run down linked above. It wasn't always the Iconic Strapless Bathing Suit anyway, but even that changed a lot.

WW wasn't always Diana, either, several others grabbed the title for awhile. Two redheads, one named Artemis, had short lived careers (that was when Diana wore that black bike short get up instead) and short lives once they donned the Iconic Strapless Bathing Suit. Hippolyta, Diana's mother, took the role, her adopted sister Donna Troy who had become Wonder Girl took the Wonder Woman moniker in a somewhat more metallic costume.

Earth 1, Earth 2, New Earth, Pre-Crisis, Post-Crisis, Bronze Age, Silver Age.... The thing is, comics get deep into changes, alternate realities (including a cross-gendered world with the Manazons), more changes, total redactions and, yes, just plain clothing changes. So holding on to a really very silly Iconic Strapless Bathing Suit seems, well, really silly. But all those things did seem to cause a stir so, this costume thing has been an issue since they changed WW's costume in the comics last year.

The first look was fully jacketed and Athletic Woman blog did note this as an issue, as, SOMETIMES Wonder Woman was drawn quite muscular (once could probably do another 15 page index like Strickland's just on the muscle, but the '04 pics will do for now) and the jacket hides the arms. However, the jacket comes off.

And the top has straps! It could stay on. Okay, it has a lot of straps, right down the arms. Which, if not stretchy would create some interference with muscles. But, seriously, this is a nod to WW's bondage origins, no? Which is part of her history, after all.

Me, I like the new comic costume, mostly. I like the pants, but would really like them a bit less painted on. I like the lower heel on the boot and really do not give a fuck that they're not red (because, who need red boots? why is that such a big fucking deal? Red is glaringly cheesy color for boots), but I'd like them a bit, clunkier, but then I'd have given her combat boots so.... And I like the darker look, although I know a lot out there hate it.

The darker look goes with the also very controversial greater violence that Wonder Woman has apparently been displaying. A lot of people are having a hard time with that too. Me, it almost brought me back into buying the book when I heard about it, but...well, we'll get to that in a moment.

The TV version, however, is trying to play it both ways. They have the pants and the blue boots, but are going with the baby blue and the higher boot. It's just all to bright and shiny for me, I do like the dark urban look most people are hating on. But mostly, why would anyone want to go back to the strapless bustier thing...it's always been the stupidest part of Wonder Woman's costume. Seriously, do you want to be in a fight worrying if your top is going to fall off? You move around enough and no amount of boobage is going to keep that on. It's just not.

Of course, the costume in the NBC movie/pilot is all we have to rant on, because it's all we know at this point. I'd love to see way more muscle on a live action Wonder Woman today than Adrianne Palicki is packing in this photo. I'm leery of her action acting chops, as the only thing I've seen her in has been as a rather vapid victim, but it's unfair to say she doesn't have those chops based on that. I hope she works out a bit more though. I wish Rhona Mitra got the role, dammit!

A big part of my plan here was to note, that pants, maybe even tight pants, are totally appropriate for an Amazon warrior despite the usual Greek toga image that most people think:

But, over all, I wonder if I care anymore. Because while I needed to rant on the costume fervor, while checking this all out and considering starting to buy the book again after all these years, I discovered something. Remember, the first bit here, in some way the Goddess worshiping Amazon Princess Diana is part of my early memories of worshiping Goddesses myself, as well as probably inducing an early interest in the warrior path. I actually did worship Artemis and other Greek Goddesses early on, as They were the ones I had learned about, the ones I knew. And Artemis is such a perfect Goddess for adolescent girls. But She stayed with me for years after.
Then in a very palatable way, She turned me over to An Morrígan. It was actually a pretty traumatic experience for the pacifist I was and culturally mind boggling as I ended up finding myself having to explore Gaelic culture far more than anyone I knew at the time was.

And now....Wonder Woman is facing a new enemy, a Triple Goddess out to destroy the Amazons. Yup, that would be The Morrigan. This is just horrific to me.

I've been trying to find pictures and more information, but so far it seems only two names and pictures exist or at least have made it to the internets. One is Bellona...um, wrong culture assholes! The other is Anann!!!! Damn! They got one right?! Most polytheist claiming to worship An Morrígan usually seem to miss Her! No clue as to the third, can't find it anywhere. Nope, not going to give DC money to find out.
(ETA: Apparently the third is Enyo, who is a Greek Goddess of war. So apparently while they use the title The Morrigan, they are using only one Irish Goddess, and then the Roman Bellona and Greek Enyo...which is just more Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!)

So, the hells with the costume, to hells with who plays her in the most recent live action depiction. I'm offended! I'm done! I've had it!

The first Goddess worshiping role model is fighting my Goddess? Or a cockeyed, ignorant rendition of Her. Insulting! ahem

I don't know what to think any more. Really, I just wanted to rant about the costume and my worries about the casting. I wanted to start reading the comic again, now that perhaps I an actually sort of kind of afford to do so. But instead...another little piece of my Pagan childhood has been destroyed. And not due to the loss of a fucking Iconic Strapless Bathing Suit.

ETA: Here's The Daily Beast's commentary on the script for the pilot with the eight cringiest moments...at least one would hope they're the worse.

ETA April 2: photos from filming show Palicki in a somewhat modified costume, obviously some of the feed back out there got picked up. Red boots, why that was such a big deal is beyond me, but I do approve of the lower heel. Slightly darker, less shiny legging with stars, the last was another thing that really wasn't a big deal to me. But the strapless top, waaay too low to be remotely reasonable, just is so bad. In the videos taken at the shooting, you can see her picking at the top and I think her posture over all suggests that she feels very uncomfortable and is focused on whether it's staying up. Seriously, give the woman some straps!

Wonder Woman an all comic images are owned by DC Comics, the image of Palicki is from NBC and Warner Brothers, who can own that damn costume.

A place where things come together

2011-03-16T04:38:00.000-07:00

As I wasn't writing much about Gaelic spirituality at the time I started this blog, having started at a time of conflict, flux and burn out in the community and taking things more private for awhile, I have realized it might seem a sudden switch to some of my readers. While the intent of this was always to be about various aspects of the warrior path in my life and how they came together, the focus had been on fitness, self-defense and popular culture. That itself might seem quite a mix to some. But it really is in my interest in the warrior ways of ancient Ireland and Scotland that all those things come together, the physical training and the importance of story.

I'm not good at compartmentalizing. Somethings need to be, however, and therefore when I wanted a space to blog about homesteading and to share with my husband, I made another blog Dùn Sgàthan Notes, I also joined a blog for horse advocacy although between three of us we seem a bit too overwhelmed by it all to post much. Then, in order to share space for writing about things related to The Sarah Connor Charm School, I created a blog for the group. This last is the most likely to have cross-posting. (What am I saying? The only thing I've posted there so far has been reposts of things from here. I hope this doesn't annoy those who might read both.)

But this blog is for all things related to women on the warrior path, however diverse that may be for me. It's a place where things come together for me in my practice. Now I also have a real space location that brings things together, as well.

For years now I've had limited space for exercise equipment. Usually a small room, which usually means that things overflowed into the rest of the house.It lead to some bad habits, like making a stop by the computer in between sets, removing my focus.

When I was planning to build my own house, it was actually pretty much centered around the idea of having a gym. A gym/temple, really. But I never built my house. A decade ago we moved into the "in-law apartment" of my parents' home. Since their deaths, we now own the house...and we still live in the apartment. I wasn't ready to use the rest, the apartment is smaller and easier to care for and heat and it just doesn't "flow" into the rest easily. But we decided to find ways to expand into the rest. And, it of course, started with a gym.

Moving the living room fufurniture out of the way (come spring most of it will be moved completely out), we put down padded flooring, moved in the weights, benches, heavy bag. We added a pull-up and dip tower, as I have given up, for now, on finding the perfect bed frame to turn on it's side. When things are moved out more we'll have more open space, especially to work the bag, and probably get more equipment over time.

And in the far corner is a shrine. I may be the only Polytheist, especially the only HARD Polytheist, out there who has a shrine in her gym with a statue of An Morrígan and a figure of Sarah Connor. I hope these are joined by a figure or picture of Scáthach or other literary Irish warrior woman, or many, but I'm not finding the right one(s). I'm looking for well done and muscular, tattooed would be nice but muscle is more important. I have some great ideas in my head but a lifetime frustration of never being able to get such images out onto paper (my sister got that talent). I do have a list, a sort of prayer, instead:

I serve the War Goddesses

Badb and Macha and An Morrigan, whose name is Anand

Fea and Nemain, Bé Néit

I follow in the footsteps of the banfénnidi

Macha Mongruadh

Ness ingen Echach Sálbuidi

Medb ingen Echach Feidlig

Creidne

Scáthaig Buanand ingen Ardgeimme

Aifi ingen Ardgeimme

Bodbmall

Líath Lúachra

Luas Lurgann

Étsine

Bréfne

Símha ingen Chorrluirgnig

Bec ingen Conchoraig

Lithben ingen Aitreabhthaigh

Truth in our Hearts, Strength in our Arms, Fulfillment in our Tongues

There are photos all around of Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor. Some, now collected in a frame, are worn, faded, damaged, having gone from apartment to apartment with me for years, the first for 20 years this year, taped to the walls of various "workout rooms." Likewise, there are similar pictures of Kathy Long. Later these were joined by Demi Moore doing one-armed push-ups as Lt. Jordan O'Neal in G.I. Jane (this also includes the statement "Failure Is Not An Option" at top and D.H. Lawrence's poem "Self-Pity" at the bottom) and Sigourney Weaver as Ripley 8. But now I have more pristine photos of Linda, with autographs, including one of us together. I'll be printing more from ComicCon to go up, too.

But while An Morrígan and Sarah Connor grace my shrine, it is not to say that the two images are the same. One is a representation of my Goddess, the other is a representation of a role model. As a hard Polytheist I do not believe that the Goddesses and Gods are archetypes. They are real and They are many. Even a Goddess I worship of the same name as a Goddess you worship might not even be the same Goddess. We are limited, They are not so much, we do not always know who They are, only Who They tell us and They may tell us to meet our always limited understanding.

And while I might be limited, I'm not completely simple either. I have no problem with both worshiping Goddesses I believe are very real and alive and being inspired by stories both ancient and modern. For me Sarah Connor and other modern role models are as potent as the ancient ones of Ness and Scáthach and other literary figures who I also do not believe are degraded* Goddesses but humans in the tales.

So this space, this very sacred space to me, is filled with images that represent the warrior path for me.c It allows me to stay far more foused and mindful, more reverent than I have been for some time when working out with weights. I meditate, usually sitting on the balance ball, before the shrine between sets. I focus on what I am doing, what I am offering. Because working out is worship for me, a practice that deteriorated by bad habits, which now I am breaking.

There are no offering plates on this shrine as there are on my others. The offering is my blood, sweat and tears. If something else is demanded there, it will be given, but the focus here is on the work of the body. And where that meets the spirit.

*Yes, I know even some Celtic scholars these days use "euhermerized" but this word actually means the opposite; it actually means that the historical becomes mythological, that humans become Deities, not the other way around.

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Text and top photo copyright ©2011 Kym Lambert, wolf picture is currently photoshopped but a similar one will go there Drawing copyright © 2002 Aaron Miller
Photo of Linda Hamilton from Terminator 2 copyright © 1991 Carolco, currently owned by Pacificor LLC

Once Upon A Time....

2011-02-25T23:34:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, I believed that the past was filled with women warriors and there was a great deal of evidence for it especially among the Celtic cultures. Oh, a minority for sure, but there was so much evidence. Such as Boudicca, whose story is told in this video (from the BBC shorts Horrible Histories), Scáthach, Aoife, Medb....the list goes on especially from Ireland, as well as the Cáin Adamnáin. After all, warriors wouldn't follow a woman if they didn't have faith in women as warriors, there wouldn't be all these stories if there were no women warriors, there would be no need to outlaw women warriors if there were no women warriors.....

Now I no longer believe that. Oh, don't get me wrong, I believe there were Celtic women warriors. What I stopped believing was that there is any good evidence.

It took me a long time to get here and even when I was I was at first a bit reticent about it. After all, I AM writing a book on the Gaelic warrior path for women. The slowness was in part due to the fact that many renown Celticists have supported the that this is evidence, usually just in passing and often citing such evidence as noted above. For example Nora Chadwick stated following noting the Cáin as well that, “Taking what we’re told of Gaulish women warriors by classical writers, together with Boudicca, Cartimandua and Maeve, and with these stories, we cannot but wonder whether there was not some such institution among the most ancient of Celtic people.” (The Celts pg. 136, see below) She is hardly alone in such statements.

As I started up Teh Project again, however, I couldn't let things go "just in passing." I actually had to face the evidence issue, because it is something that we must confront and be truthful about. That there is no good evidence, yet I whole heartedly do still believe there were some women warriors in the early Gaelic cultures.

My belief is based simply on the simple fact that no matter how misogynist and repressive a culture is, there are always some women who are of a warrior nature. They may not be accepted as part of mainstream armies or able to openly show themselves to be both women and warriors. They may have been forced adopt the guise of men. They may have been pirates, highwaywomen, outlaws of some kind. And Outlaw in the Gaelic form is something we'll discuss in a moment.

This puts me in lonely place in the on going debate within both Celtic studies and the Pagan Community about women warriors. Because one side continues to use this evidence, while the other refutes it as evidence or even claims that because because these women warriors typically have supernatural powers it means that there never could have been any women warriors (one would think they never heard of Fionn Mac Cumhail and Cú Chulainn or seem to think that their skills are common among men?). Those who take this view, and there are too many to cite here (go on nearly any "Celtic" email list and dare to write the words "women warriors" and you'll find them), often also include a deep seated belief that women are inherently unable to be warriors, for example Michael Enright's unsubstantiated (in a book otherwise filled with obsessive citations) long ranty footnote about how women are constructed in such a way as to not have any ability to fight at all. (Lady With a Mead Cup, pg. 211) It should be noted his evidence for women as Seers, and only Seers, in the warbands mostly consists of exploring stories with some mix of history, when it comes to the Irish tales he only considers to Feidelm, not, for example, Scáthach who was both warrior and Seer).

So here's the problem with the "evidence" in a nutshell (yeah, I'm going to make you wait to see if I finish Teh Project for more details nah nah nah nah nah):

A lot of women have led armies who have no experience with warfare in history, for instance Joan D'Arc; others have been rulers who sent armies into war, pretty much any ruling queen. (Fraser, The Warrior Queens) Boudicca may have been a trained warrior or she may have been a symbol of hope through horror who male warriors fought for but had never fought herself, we actually do not know. Those who tell us of her, Tacitus and Cassius Dio had only others' tales to repeat. There is good propaganda, which we'll also consider in a moment, for a patriarchal culture to have an enemy who supposedly said ""We Britons are used to women commanders in war; I am the daughter of mighty men." (see also The Agricola and The Germania)

Nor do they tell us anything about whether other women fought under Boudicca or not. The idea is pervasive, but we don't have evidence. All we have is a bit of logic and the knowledge that during times of crisis, during uprisings and civil wars, women often did take up arms even if it was not the norm. Often they were the push aside and their stories seldom told. (Goldstein, War and Gender)

Other Roman's such as Ammianus Marcellinus and Diodorus Siculus tell us of Celtic women as big as the Celtic men and as or more courageous and formidable in a fight. The problem with these accounts, however, is that it's a common tactic for for patriarchal cultures to paint the enemy males as effeminate by claiming their women are masculine and not in proper control, therefore, fighting. (see Goldstein, War and Gender). Again, it may or may not be true, but you can't use the source as actual proof.

But I'm not writing about Gauls or Britons, I'm writing about Gaelic women warriors, there are tons of them, right? Indeed. In the Irish literature. In fact, along with the well known Medb, Scáthach and Aoife, as well as the Warrior Goddesses, Badb, Macha and Morrígan, who is Anann, there are others. The problem is, they are all stories, some not very flattering to the women warriors. It's as simple as that.

And people do write, and even fear, things that aren't real, (think Aliens, for example) so while the fact they're fiction does not prove women warriors didn't exist, although I've seen such claims actually made on "Celtic" mailing lists, on the basis that the women tend to have supernatural capabilities yet no one claims that stories of the amazing abilities of Cú Chulainn and Fionn Mac Cumhail prove there were no male warriors, it also doesn't really prove they did. It's inspirational, it's hopeful, it's not proof. And while some may call them myths and proclaim they are a "window" to the Pre-Christian ways, that has been refuted by current scholars. (see, Mallory, ed. Aspects of..., McCone, Pagan Past.., Nagy, Conversing with...)

But certainly no one would make a law forbidding something that wasn't taking place and the Cáin Adamnáin outlaws women warriors. Well, the citation thing here is getting dense for a blog post, so I'll let you go looking for silly laws, some are just silly things to have laws about but others just aren't going to be an issue. But the problem here is that that's not what the original law Adamnán, or someone, issued. The Lex Innocentium or "Law of the Innocents," was a much shorter proclamation that clerics, women and children were not to be harmed during warfare, as non-combatants and the punishments if one did. The prologue where the Saint and his mother see butchered women and she forces her son to protect them, actually claims that in Pagan times all Irish women were slaves, the best of them forced by their husbands to fight against each other, not glorious, autonomous warriors. It becomes a problem to claim this shows there were women warriors unless you want to claim those women warriors were slaves. (Kelly, ...Early Irish Law and Bitel, Land of Women, pg. 85, 103-110, 211, 223)

What about archaeological evidence? As far as I've been able to find, after much looking, and I'm still trying to get more resources on this, there hasn't been any. And it's always a problematic evidence where it is found. Burial practices vary a lot, sometimes cremation was used, sometimes there are artifacts and sometimes not and we don't really know when there are if they were used in life or indicated something else.

Female burials with weapons are often credited with being warrior women (Davis-Kimball and Behan, Warrior Women), but in some cases this may not be correct. As Deborah J. Shepherd points out in “The Elusive Warrior Maiden Tradition: Bearing Weapons in Anglo-Saxon Society” (in Carman and Harding, eds. Ancient Warfare pg. 222-224) in Anglo-Saxon culture it was known that sonless men would name their daughter as a surrogate son and she'd carry weapons as a symbol of that position, but seemingly never would be trained with them. It's been pointed out that we need osteoarchaeological study of remains to determine if someone buried with them used them in life; perhaps we need to do so in order to see if those not buried with weapons might have trained as well. (see Hanks, “Reconsidering Warfare, Status, and Gender,” iLinduff and Rubinson, eds. Are All Warriors Male? pg. 15-34, see the rest of this book for various views on various cultures)

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So what the hells am I doing here, championing the concept of a modern Gaelic warrior path for women, I believe there is no evidence, if I in fact refute the evidence so many believe in? Well, sometimes I wonder. ~;p But really, it's simple, as I already noted, I still believe there were women warriors, based only on circumstantial evidence as it were. Including the very personal knowledge that no matter what, some women just are called to this path, no matter what their culture might dictate. It may be a small number, but we exist and it's unlikely there weren't a few in any culture. "Few" never means "none." It might make them hard to find, however.

Goldstein estimates the number of women warriors as 1%...that is both 1% of warriors are women and 1% of women are warriors...on average through the world and time. At the moment he estimates it's about 3% although he's noting only within the military, not LEO or others who may be described as warriors. (Goldstein, War and Gender, pg 10-11) And he notes not all of these women are in combat positions (although, of course, many non-combat personnel see combat these days...something that's been true a lot throughout history). Given this, it's not always hard to hide that 1-3% and can be very difficult to find.

So, I don't believe there were a LOT of women warriors, but there were some. I also believe that they may not have been part of the culture, that is, I in the regular tribal groups there may only have been male warriors. I think the place female warriors might have existed is Outside, in the Outlaw warrior bands. While we can't take it, obviously, as actual proof, it's interesting that the words for "woman warrior" are, from what I've found, either a form of ban-fhénnid or bangaisgedh, which tend to indicate an Outlaw Warrior.

While clerics were happily writing tales of tribal matters, the stories of the Fianna, which when mentioned in saints tales were interchangeable with díberga, weren't recorded until later (McCone, “Werewolves, ..."). While we know that young males, prior to attaining their adult rights, would be in these bands, which is also shown in the tales of Fionn, McCone finds it likely that there were men who were never given inheritance who remained. In the tales Fionn is an example. He doesn't speculate about women in the bands, but Nagy notes those associated with Fionn himself, especially his fosterers. (The Wisdom of the Outlaw) In most of the tales we have of women involved, with the exception of Fionn's fosterers and Aoife, who is so named (Scáthach isn't, but is clearly a woman warrior who is Outside the culture in question), the women likewise are only ban-fhénnid for the time they must be for revenge. (Nessa and Creidne, for example) If women remained in the wilderness throughout their lives, how would we even know about it?

Another hint might be that although the early Christian Irish laws tended to see women as incapable of harming any but children and other women, there was concern over female werewolves. (confail conrecta, "a woman who likes to stray in wolf-shape, from Bitel, pg. 219-220, Carey, "Werewolves" pg. 64-68) McCone has made the connection between werewolves and the Outlaw Warriors, of course. ("Werewolves, Cyclopes,...."). It is a connection which intrigues me greatly.

Unfortunately, this is purely speculative and based on the stories. I hope we do get the archaeological evidence someday, but until then, my theory is that we should look to the stories for their inspiration. Many are uninspiring, with the women not shown in good light. I think it's reasonable to retell these to ourselves in more positive ways, with the constant caveat that it's not the way the stories went. We find inspiration in modern stories.

Stories, ancient or modern, inspire us, stories let us build our own stories, stories become true for us if we make them so. That's why I am doing this.

Bibliography

Lisa Bitel, Land of Women: Tales of Sex and Gender from Early Ireland, Ithaca: Cornell University Press, 1996

John Carey, "Werewolves in Medieval Ireland," Cambrian Medieval Celtic Studies 44 (Winter 2002)

John Carman and Anthony Harding, eds. Ancient Warfare: Archaeological Perspectives, Gloustershire: Sutton Publishing, 2004

Cassius Deo, Roman History

Nora Chadwick, The Celts: A Lucid and Fascinating History, New York: Penguin Books, 1971

Jeannine Davis-Kimball and Mona Behan. Warrior Women: An Archaeologist’s Search for History’s Hidden Heroines, New York: Warner Books, 2002

Michael Enright, Lady With a Mead Cup: Ritual Prophecy and Lordship in the European Warband from La Tene to the Viking Age Dublin: Four Courts Press, 2007

Antonia Fraser. The Warrior Queens: The Legends and the Lives of the Women who have led Their Nations in War New York: Vintage Books, 1990

Joshua S. Goldstein, War and Gender: How Gender Shapes the War System and Vice Versa, Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press, 2001

Fergus Kelly, A Guide to Early Irish Law, Dublin: Dublin Institute for Advanced Studies (School of Celtic Studies), 2001

Katheryn M. Linduff and Karen S. Rubinson, eds. Are All Warriors Male? Gender Roles on the Ancient Eurasian Steppe, Lanham: AltaMira Press, 2008

Kim McCone, “Werewolves, Cyclopes, Díberga and Fíanna: Juvenile Delinquency in Early Ireland” Cambridge Medieval Celtic Studies, issue 12, 1986

Kim McCone, Pagan Past and Christian Present in Early Irish Literature, Maynooth: An Sagart, 1990

J. P. Mallory, ed. Aspects of The Táin, Belfast: December Publications, 1992

Ammianus Marcellinus, Roman History, Book 15. London: Bohn, 1862

Kuno Meyer, Cáin Adamnáin: an old-Irish treatise on the law of Adamnan, Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1905

Kuno Meyer, Fianaigecht :being a collection of hitherto inedited Irish poems and tales relating to Finn and his Fiana, Dublin: Hodges, Figgis & Co., 1910

Joseph Falaky Nagy. The Wisdom of the Outlaw: The Boyhood Deeds of Finn in Gaelic Narrative Tradition, Berkeley: University of California Press, 1985

Joseph Falaky Nagy, Conversing with Angels and Ancient: Literary Myths of Medieval Ireland, Ithaca: Cornell University Press, 1997

Diodorus Siculus The Library of History

Whitley Stokes, trans, "Scéla Conchobair maic Nessa/The Tidings of Conchobar son of Ness,"Ériu vol. II. London: David Nutt, 1908

Tacitus, The Annals of Tacitus

Tacitus, (M. Mattingly and S. A. Handford, trans.) The Agricola and The Germania, New York: Penguin Books, 1970

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copyright ©2011 Kym Lambert
Meave painting by J.C. Leyendecker 1907 for Theodore Roosevelt's "The Ancient Irish Sagas"
Pictish Wolf reproduction © 2002 Aaron Miller

Not writing except to write about writing

2011-01-04T22:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, one big issue with posting here is how to I follow up the last post? I mean *swoons*

The other is, I'm supposed to be writing something for hard copy, so I've backed off some of my online writing. But I'm sort of stuck on Teh Project and maybe some venting and "thinking out loud" or "in sight" or whatever, will help? Maybe, maybe not.

But likely I'll be doing some speculating, because some of this needs some feedback. I mean, if I'm writing something no one is going to read other than a few friends, then I might back off and focus on other things, sharing with those friends in a more informal manner.

So the major question coming up: are you interested in a book about how women can aspire on the Gaelic warrior path that doesn't give any of the fantasy that the ancient Gaelic world was filled with wall to wall women warriors? One that uses story as inspiration, but remembers that they are stories? That looks for what clues to real women warriors there might have been but admits the evidence is sparse to non-existent no matter what even some Celtic scholars have wanted to believe?

Or, how about this: Do you want such a book that also says you have to be able to fight and that "warrior" doesn't just refer to being emotionally empowered? A book that includes discussion of fitness, martial arts, self-defense and weapons...including firearms? Okay, if you've been here awhile I'm thinking that maybe you do want that, but that brings us back to "a few friends." ~;p

In relation to the last questions, I'm also getting my AFAA Personal Trainer certification reinstated. This will likely affect some of my blogging activity, as well as some of the content of Teh Project, whether it affects my income or not is another matter, given my location and the general economic atmosphere. I guess another question is: If Teh Project gets published, are you interested in a companion fitness workbook? ~;p I mean, I gotta do SOMETHING with this thing. Or maybe I'll dump this and do that instead.

Meeting Idols and Role Models

2010-10-30T04:43:00.000-07:00

As noted in my last entry, my mate and I went to Chicago ComicCo n in August, with the primary mission to meet Linda Hamilton and other women who have been role models of strength. Along with "Sarah Connor" these included her roommate "Ginger" Bess Motta, Kristanna "Painkiller Jane" Loken, Lindsay "Bionic Woman" Wagner and Claudia "Commander Susan Ivanova" Christian.

It's really quite difficult, and likely not just because of the Mercury Retrograde (which is over now, but we're still in the shadow for the next couple of weeks), to really discuss this. Photos and ZOMG! is about all I've managed so far. There's always going to be a lot of emotion when you meet someone you've admired from afar for so long. But with some it was more difficult than with others. Lindsay Wagner was an emotional meeting for me in a different way, so that first.

As a teenager, I idolized Wagner's Bionic Woman role "Jaime Sommers" much as I now do Hamilton's "Sarah Connor." I was, after all, very much the pacifistic, hippie Witch at the time, a strong female role model that eschewed violence was perfect. Certainly, the message that if one is strong enough, violence isn't always necessary even in responding to violence, still holds for me. But I'm sure Wagner would be horrified by some of the choices I have made in my life, things I promote to defend ourselves. Certainly my 16 year-old self would have been!

During the panel with Wagner and Richard Anderson, who played her boss Oscar Goldman, the theme came up a lot. He brought up her sensitivity to violence, the ways that caused the show to differ from the Six Million Dollar Man. Prompted by a fan, Wagner described her character's way of dealing with things as distinctly "feminine." Any of my readers are likely to know that engendering such things pushes my buttons, but I certainly wasn't going to get into it there. But it gave me much to think about, especially about my feelings of disconnection in meeting her and the feelings of sadness about it. Which was made all the more sad because my late mother was a fan, we had watched her show together, and it was perhaps the only action show we both enjoyed.

And, yet, as noted in a previous post, the character helped shape my interest in women's strength and in the idea that being strong does give us a better chance to be safe in the world. Yes, maybe it even means not having to always resort to physical violence, because our options are greater, we're less likely to feel we can't avoid dangerous encounters if we are aware of our own power to get out of them if we do.

Strength, in all ways, is clearly demonstrated by the very first of the actresses I met, Kristanna Loken. While you all may know Terminator 3 was not may favorite movie, I did become a fan of Loken when she was in the television version of PainKiller Jane, a very different version from the comics, but with a lot of power and ass kicking. Loken's passions are evident in her work with several charities, especially involved in helping children. Among recent movies she has made Darfur and is currently working on Love Orchard that confronts the issues of migrant workers whose families are often torn apart by current laws. Fans can become involved in this movie through the Kickstart link on Kristanna's website as well as find information on her charities and other activities. Kristanna obviously doesn't just play strong women in movies and TV, she lives it.

While we then waiting in line to meet Linda Hamilton, she went on break. Others in the line were gracious enough to let me slip out to meet Bess Motta, who was Ginger, Sarah's roommate, in The Terminator. She was also one of the 20-Minute Fitness instructors in the 1980s, and is still a fitness instructor today. That she's keeping up that part of her career is quite obvious, as she's probably as fit or fitter than she ever was. She was a delightful person and seemed to be having a great time at the con herself.

The favor we got was paid, um, backwards as the women who were behind us and saved our spot had theirs saved by those behind them while they went to see Michael Biehn. I'd been warned that fellow fans in these lines might be nice during what may be a long wait.

Okay, so yeah.....here we go! Trying to describe meeting Linda. OMG! I can't. It was amazing. As I was picking out photos and paying for the autographs with her assistant, he has commented on the shirt (the shirts got many comments, actually...including one guy who did ask if I had more than one on Sunday, which I did, btw). Linda quoted the "siempre como culebra" and explained to him that it was from T2 and what it meant. After that, it's sort of a blur.

As the shirt was already brought up, I babbled a bit about The Sarah Connor Charm School, of course. And the prerequisite, "what an inspiration you were" stuff. When I noted the purpose of the SCCS, which is also the purpose of this blog, to pass on inspiration to other women to find their own strength, Linda said, "In the end the only thing we have is our own strength." Gods, mine pretty much was gone, but I managed somehow to stay upright, get the autographs and some photos with her. Oh, there was also a bit of "looking so forward to seeing you on Chuck" and her saying she was excited about doing the show too.

I also told her that I'd be back because I had a gift for her. This being my first con, and with some of the things written up, I wasn't sure if this was okay, but she was open to it. The next day I did see her, Bess and Kristanna along with Michael Biehn very briefly as we went through for our professional photos which I still need to scan. We also went to the Terminator panel, with Linda and Michael, which was delightful. They were very open about not liking the later two movies all that much, he especially did not mince words. A number of fans seemed thrilled to know that the love scene in the first film was uncomfortable because they did have feelings for each other and spouses who knew it and were there. But for me, I was touched by several other women who told her how much Sarah Connor was an inspiration of strength, especially one who told her that she helped her through a really difficult time in her life. This reflects what I wrote earlier. This is why these roles are vital to us, we need role models.

I did learn a few very important things to keep in mind if I go to a ComicCon again. The most important is stick to the panels and avoid the floor on Saturday. That's when most people are there. Yet, I did have a professional photo with a different photographer, who offered jpgs as well as prints, on the floor (the Terminator ones were where the panels were) with Lindsay Wagner and Richard Anderson. And the Terminator actors were all across from William Shatner and other Trek stars, so between the two the aisle there was jammed packed. We did manage to get back to see Bess and to see Michael Biehn. So, yes, I did get photos and autographs with two men, so see I'm not sexist because I have token male representation here! *snerk* Bess even asked us to pose with her for a photo for her FaceBook page!

The next day things were a little calmer. I also got to meet Claudia Christian, of Babylon 5, whose Commander Susan Ivanova was another ass kicking woman. And Lisa Loring, the original Wednesday Addams. Yeah, maybe not an ass kicker in the same sense, but those Addams, and Frump, women were not afraid of their own power. She was delightful to meet, and of all was the first of these celebrities that I was a fan of.

But, of course, the highlight was again seeing Linda, this time with the certificate from the Sarah Connor Charm School to present to her. She even remembered how I spell my name, for when she autographed the group Terminator photo she noted that Michael Biehn had spelled it wrong. (Bess noticed too!). I showed her the certificate and she seemed thrilled by the words, saying that she'd treasure it for ever.
It reads:

Certificate of Appreciation
Linda Hamilton
The Sarah Connor Charm School
thanks you for your inspiration to women
to be strong, prepared and save ourselves, our loved ones, the world

And then:

Do I even need to say there are no words?

Still living, still training and meeting an idol

2010-08-15T01:31:00.000-07:00

So I've never managed to get into the swing of regular blogging since taking up Teh Project again. I'm still training, but I've not done a lot that is worth writing about in that respect. We're hoping to get back to actual shooting classes come fall and winter, so look for reviews of those in the coming months. But writing offline has taken up a lot of my writing energy and while I do have something I plan to put on the web, it's gotten a bit cumbersome for a blog post so I'll be doing an actual old-fashion webpage for it...then blogging a bit about it here. That will be soon.

In the meantime, I'm preparing to meet a couple of my idols, my current biggest one, Linda Hamilton, and my teen years biggest one who I still adore, Lindsay Wagner. Yeah, Jaime Sommmers of the Bionic Woman may seem a bit pacifistic compared to my current stance, but she was an inspiration for strength and as I knew no one would make me bionic even if the technology was developed like that, the idea that being strong was something that could mean you didn't have to fight actually inspired me to first pick up weights and start running. Um, okay, those "weights" seem pretty silly now, but it was a start.

Both are going to be at Chicago ComicCon this coming week and so am I. I'm beyond words excited to meet them and I will probably share some of that on this blog. However, the most immediate updates will be in the Sarah Connor Charm School Facebook page and LiveJournal Community.

What will likely get reviewed here, especially as I wish to put more of my interest in Celtic cultures and ancient women warriors into this blog as well as the contemporary and pop culture material that makes up much of it, will be Neil Marshall's new movie Centurion that he'll be screening and doing a public interview and question and answer session on (sadly the screening comes after, you get tickets at the Q&A as there might be more questions after the screening). Marshall is the man who gave us Rhona Mitra kicking ass in Doomsday so that this film includes "Pictish" women warriors may not end up badly. But I find anything that does go into Things Celtic tends to go real bad. And "Pictish" even more so...such as King Arthur featuring the "Woads."

I am a bit picky about this stuff, as can be noted by two articles I have had up (and which could use some updating I'm sure) for awhile now. One on The Picts and the other on The Problem of the Woad itself. Oh, you might have also caught on about this interest when you saw the tattoos, huh?

When it comes to the on going debate about women warriors among the Picts or other Celtic (and as the article notes, I'm persuaded to refer to them as a Celtic speaking people) I've got the Outsider view; I'm neither on the side of those who say they were a common fixture of the cultures nor the side of those who say they were purely fiction. What we can prove is another matter. And so far I've found this exploration filling an introduction (mostly on the non-Celtic evidence) and two chapters.

So I expect this will be an all around interesting four days for me and that it will give me a lot of food for thought. And, of course, a way to combine the subjects here...which, of course, they always sort of do come together for me. As, should I ever finish this book I refer to as Teh Project and get it published, you'll see someday. Or you'll just have to see what future posts here offer.

Sadly, no one else from the Sarah Connor Charm School is going. I am hoping to meet more women so inspired though. I hope I'm not the only one who is preparing for this con by upping her weight training.

It's about the pain, or what we want to do with it.

2010-01-29T22:29:00.000-08:00

In an interview at the MCM London Expo last May (which tells you how long I have been thinking about this), Linda Hamilton remarked regarding fans wanting to be like her Terminator and Terminator 2 character Sarah Connor, "I was playing a character in a hell of the world's making. She's in so much pain. Why would anyone want to be like that?"

My immediate reaction, which I did briefly express in comments on that page, was, “Well, because we’re ALL in pain and we’re looking for a role model to help us figure out how to deal with it.” I don’t know that in all these years of wondering “What Would Sarah Do?” and before and after looking for role models to match her, I really thought of it that way. But, really, isn’t that exactly what it all comes down to?

We all have pain. We may not lose our mother, friends, lover and many surrounding us to a machine from the future, but we do lose those we love to other terminators throughout our lives. We may not face the fact that our child is going to be entering a known dangerous future, where he’ll be burdened with saving humanity, but those who have children (their own or those of others close to them) are faced with, at best, their unknown futures, and sometimes very real and immediate fears for their lives and safety. Our pains might not be quite interesting enough to be a subject of a movie, and when they are they are usually such direly depressing movies that we don’t watch them, but they are real.

“Escapism” really often is about watching someone else have pain that is more interesting than ours. At times perhaps it is escape we are looking for, to see someone go through something that just makes us, for an hour or two not think about our own. But I think many of us “fangirls” and “fanboys” of particular, especially action, characters, often do so because we like the way those characters deal with their pain. And while we would not want their pain as well, certainly do not wish those horrors upon ourselves and our loved ones, we want to be able to deal with what we do face in a similar manner.

This means that the fiction we tend to prefer may well say something about how we wish to cope with or solve the problems and sorrows in our lives. Those who mostly watch comedies might prefer search for laughter to soften the blows of life. We who favor action, horror or science fiction movies probably want to cowgirl up, face things down and carry on. Of course, most of us probably want different coping methods at different times which is why some of us have varied tastes in our fiction.

I think that Sarah Connor is revolutionary in this way, as much as she is for her physique and prowess with arms, in that she gives women that role model to carry on and do what needs doing. And, indeed, that strength and fighting skills were part of her answers is revolutionary as well. The training, the preparation, the choosing to become a warrior, rather than just remain the reactive Final Girl, these things are hard to find in female characters, especially in film.

It’s not hard to realize that the fictional “solution” to pain focused on female audiences has often been, in one way or another, to be saved. Whether it’s the lighter offerings of romantic comedies where the heroine is in a bad relationship or none at all until she meets the right guy who helps her out of her current situation or the darker action where the heroine’s very life is in peril and the hero must risk his to save her, this has been a standard message. It’s been there for a long time, whether the saving of the damsel is the main story or just a side-bar of the hero’s journey. There have, however, long been plucky heroines who have saved themselves in many cultures, sometimes even by taking up arms. Some even trained hard to do so, but this has been rare and still is.

Even when we’re not being taught that we must wait for our Knight in Shining Armor to come sweep us to safety, we may be taught to just wait. Many of our more physically active heroines, after all, are endowed with the power to solve their dilemmas from some outside source. Whether it’s the Bionic Woman’s science fiction enhancement or Buffy’s supernatural vampire slaying powers being awakened or so many comic book heroines who go may run the gambit between “science” and mystical, we may well wish for suddenly being gifted with the power to take on our own problems. Even those heroines born with powers can instill the same desire, their typical “alien” identity often calling out to our own feelings of being alienated, that we might wake up to the realization that we are special and do have powers we never expected (that many do believe this these days, in the Otherkin phenomenon, is a can of worms I probably shouldn’t open). (I'm not going to say there are not similar male characters, just that there does seem to be more of a balance between them and those men who take action for themselves.)

But the truth is, Otherkindred aside, we’re not going to get those powers. So, certainly, we have heroines who have no powers but persevere. Ripley and a parade of Final Girls in horror films never prepare to any real extent. Ripley in Aliens goes through some weapons training after the threat has been established, but that’s about the most we ever see in any of these movies. This gives us hope that any woman could survive, given enough attitude. And so, we can survive our own trials, we’ll face them as they come.

As women we are supposed to constantly fear sexual violence, and so we have “good” examples of women saving themselves with attitude and ingenuity. In fact, we have an entire B-movie genre, the Rape Vengeance movies. I Spit on Your Grave is, of course, the representative of this genre. Like other Final Girls, the heroine doesn’t prepare and her sense of power is continually tainted with terror while her success is often dependent on just plain luck. It gives us a gratifying sense of vengeance, but no real role model.

Similarly, the cinematically superior, but inaccurately (or was it meant to be ironic?) titled, The Brave One, followed a similar formula replacing rape with the death of a loved one (which in a world where women are trained to see men as protectors this alone gives a similar sense of vulnerability) and the hillbilly hell setting with the dangerous urban world that the character had always lived in but seemed to be previously oblivious of. Many women related to Jodie Foster’s character’s fear and her striving to protect herself and avenge her lover, but instead of offering a role model of developed strength we get one of continued fear and powerlessness. She substitutes a gun she never learns how to use for real power, for real preparation, she never really gains control, she remains reactive and in terror to the very end. She is perhaps a good example of how many of us do deal with our day to day trials, scared, unthinking, out of control, nearly hysterical, sometimes getting lucky in our blind actions but never acting with strength. Again, a message society often tells women we are and can never get beyond, irrational, vulnerable, even when we do manage to enact our revenge.

In The Terminator Sarah starts out like Final Girls and those who are gifted with powers as just one of us, someone most of us can relate to. She works a very typically female shit-job, she is in college but there is some sense that she’s not really found her path yet, she’s stood up by a date with someone she apparently barely knows; she’s nowhere and we’ve all been there. Fate intervenes and she does find out she’s special, but instead of getting gifted with a power which will make her tasks easier, she’s given the burden of knowing she’s to bear a son who will be a great leader but in a world of utter hell. She’s a Final Girl, reacting, whining and scrambling in a situation she’s unprepared for, with tragedy after tragedy striking in just one night as her best friend, her mother and her lover, along with many others are killed. But in the end she makes a choice, to stop whining, to stop being reactionary, to prepare her son for what he must face by preparing herself. It might not be a totally independent decision, for she is told that she was the one who trained her son of the future, but for that young woman who “can’t even balance my checkbook” it was a big one.

We don’t see that preparation, but we see the results from the moment Sarah appears in Terminator 2. We see her chinning in a situation where maintaining any fitness level would take such a stronger degree of commitment than any of our own issues with motivation at getting to a gym can compare. She soon is picking locks and taking out orderlies with the skills she learned. These things tell us she prepared. And to those of us whose desire is to face our problems by being prepared, she’s awesome. Hard, inside and out, yes, but there are times this is needed. Hair triggered, but even “out of control” she’s got power because of her training.

It might seem strange that a character who onscreen never faces the threat of serious rape, face licking sexual abuse is as much as we’re shown (even the non-sexual beat down from the same orderly was not shown in the original theatrical release), has become an icon for many to prepare against sexual violence. It’s actually that she never is shown to be so imperiled that is at the very core of why she’s so inspiring. In a world where women are considered constantly at risk of sexual assault, she actually represents a woman who isn’t at the same degree of risk. Even in taking the gross face lick, there’s a strategy, she’s biding her time for what needs to be done, and that insult isn’t that important in the long run. Even taking the orderly out, though there might have been some feelings of rightful revenge, is more about getting him out of the way to deal with real problems. The threat of sexual violence is something to be dealt with efficiently and quickly, not pondered upon, just get the problem man out of the way and move on.

It has been pointed out that her muscle and Krav Maga skills would be pointless against the machines, but that doesn’t mean they were pointless in her training. We can well imagine that in the “man’s world,” a literal jungle, where she sought out paramilitary training, there were men who would have gladly taken out their violence upon a lone woman. She may well have been a rape survivor during the early days, that may indeed be an added pain, one many of us share, that is never revealed. But considering the future she and her son face, there are greater threats. So, the skills needed to deal with those men are acquired with the skills needed to deal with the future threats, again, when the threat is presented, get the problem man out of the way and move on.

Likewise, muscles, guns and hand-to-hand combat skills, which many of have been inspired to pursue (and some of us where before but just found our role model) might not help any of us with most of the problems we face. But the fact is, sexual violence is a threat that women live with everyday, the statistics remain high that we will be assaulted in some way by someone, stranger or “loved one,” at some point in our lives. Many consider it just a fact we have to contend with. It’s not our only problem, it’s not a problem most of us actually face on a daily basis (although some might fear it almost constantly), but the truth is, it’s a major burden lifted from your life when you feel just that much less vulnerable than you did before.

Knowing that should it come up, you have a good chance, that you are prepared, that perhaps that asshole who thinks you are a victim is the one that should be worried more than you, it does change how you handle other things. Living in fear, feeling that at least half of the world could take you out in a moment, does not empower you on any level. Sarah showed us that such threats can be just something to get out of the way should they come up. Until then, you can do what needs to be done to deal with the other shit in your life. So she becomes a symbol of the ultimate preparations against any sort of assault we might face.

This is, as I've noted before, the greatest travesty of Terminator Salvation, that the franchise that gave us this ultimate role model of strength, turned around and made the one female character who could have carried on that legacy into just a victim. A victim who needs a big strong Knight to save her. That demonstrates the very thing that Sarah Connor represented our journey away from.

And when it comes to other problems in our lives, Sarah can still offer us hope. We can face the loss of loved ones and still strive towards our goals because she did. If our tasks seem hard and overwhelming, we can stoically strive on, with out whining (or at least not for long), without faltering, because, well, she got through her burdens and, even when there seemed no hope, fought to find a better solution. Certainly she mourned her dead, she went from just conceiving to very pregnant in the last scene of Terminator, but she shows eventually you pack up your dog, gun and Spanish dictionary and head head out to prepare for what's to come.

Of course, there is another factor in dealing with the sadness issue at hand in what Sarah inspires for us. Moments of sheer joy. It’s the endorphins, baby. Working out, martial arts/self-defense training and defensive shooting training all give us strong endorphin dumps. It might not solve the problems, it might not cure the source of the sad, but it certainly is nice to have those periods of elation.

So, Linda (although I’m sure you’ll never read this) and others who ask this question, this is why we want to be like Sarah. No, we don’t want her burdens added to our own. We just want her strength, which you demonstrated so well, to handle them. Strong and hard, sometimes too alone and shut-off but we can find our way back to love too, sometimes ranting and raving at a world that can’t grasp the hard truths, always prepared, with a plan, getting the small problems out of the way so we can deal with saving the world as best we can.

And it’s kind of nice if we can groove on some endorphins and look our buffist while we do it, too.

Copyright © 2010 Kym Lambert ní Dhoireann

Reconnections

2009-10-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

As I noted previously, when I started this blog it was to write about the warrior path from all the angles I approach it, the spiritual, the ancient literary and historical as well as the actual training and the pop cultural. But by the time I really started working on it, I had backed off of writing about spirituality and my historical studies for various reasons I won't get into right now. I felt more comfortable writing about my training, about self-defense and about how Sarah Connor is a mega inspiration. I threw myself into The Sarah Connor Charm School at the same time I privately got back to work on a lot of very spiritual matters that I didn't write about.

Of course, it all connects for me, when I go out shooting I feel An Morrígan, the Goddess I am oathed to, with me, as I do when I lift, when I run, when I work...all the time. But I don't really mention it much. The pop cultural ties into the ancient literature for me as well and both tie into my training and my spirituality. Story has power, no matter the source. Sometimes, as I've written about, the power is very negative...and sometimes even negative stories end up having power. I need to get into that more here, I think. In fact, I have some ideas.

I think that a part of my problem in writing a lot of this is that I find very few others making the connections that I make. Oh, there are some...some of you reading this, in fact. But I learned several years ago that my outlook is different than a lot of other Pagans. I realized this when I was working on an article for a women's spirituality magazine and I was told it wasn't "Goddess focused" enough. It was to me! But the editor couldn't see it. She saw that I included factual information about violence against women and she couldn't see the spirituality behind it, even with all the woo I thought I was putting in. I suck at writing woo, apparently.

And now, as I take up a writing project about the warrior path for Pagan women, I realize that I'm not in the same space as most who claim similar interests. Part of it is that I do not believe that there were all these huge numbers of women warriors in the past, especially not in Celtic cultures which I am focused on. Oh, I believe they existed, but the evidence isn't there to support it so I can't SAY they existed...which is what so many want to hear. Or others want to say that lack of evidence proves they didn't. This, of course, is where story comes to play for me. What do all these stories mean?

And then there are those who, always mind boggling to me, want to be some sort of pacifist warriors. "Warriors don't really fight, you know. It doesn't mean that." Um, it doesn't? These same people, mostly women but hardly all women, also usually try to transform An Morrígan into some sort of loving Soccer Mom, who protects the weak rather than demands effort from the strong. Sorry, it doesn't wash with either the lore about Her or my own experiences. I can't say whether other people's experiences are valid, but based on all that is know about Her, I can question it. Especially with the bizarre "retellings" of Her stories which are so far from what is in the lore as to, well, break ones brain to read.

When An Morrígan claimed me I had to question a lot about what I believed about myself and my God/desses...and the world. It's still often a long, hard haul. But it's there. Everything I do in life is either part of it or, still, fighting against it. Everything.

Where my training and my studies have taken me in the past few years, since splitting from working with people who I now realize were toxic to me and through the death of my parents, is sometimes mind shattering. While I've been transforming for years, there have been leaps forced by the events in my life and healing I needed to do. And I do believe it has led me to the right place to get back to work on the writing project which will sum this all up.

So things might crop up here of a more spiritual nature or of more ancient "pop culture" of story telling over the coming months. We'll see how the mix goes here, perhaps. And perhaps someday some of you will be interested in this thing that has started to eat my life. Maybe.

Support rape survivors, not rapists...what an idea

2009-10-08T05:09:00.000-07:00

I've been posting on my LiveJournal about the Polanski fiasco, in anger, shock and horror that so many celebrities seem to feel he shouldn't be brought to justice because he's supposedly a great artist. I'm horrified by some of his supporters and I can NOT support their work, I just can't.

It's rape survivors who need to be supported, not rapists, no matter what you think of the talent of said rapist. This...man, although it's hardly suiting to give him that much dignity, forcibly raped a 13 year old child then ran from the country to avoid prosecution.

I'm so angry about this I can barely write, so I'm going to post the link to Kate Harding's Salon.com post because she does a better job than I can.

I posted the names of those who have signed the petition supporting Polanski, supporting rape, standing up for rape, saying that it's okay that this girl was brutilized in this LJ post and do not wish to repeat it again. I will add that Whoopi Goldberg, Harrison Ford, Debra Winger and Tilda Swinton have all publicly stated support as well.

On the plus side there is a growing list of big names who are speaking out against Polanski, for his return to the US for justice and in support of his victim (and other victims) at this link.

There is the "Art Does Not Excuse Rape: Polanski Must Face Justice" petition out there as well and PROMOTING AWARENESS, VICTIM EMPOWERMENT not only has Online petition - Rape IS Rape - Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence going but are calling for rallies at movie theaters across the nation on October 10.

I, for one, do not want my money and support going to any filmmaker, writer, etc. who thinks that rape can be excused because of celebrity.

Out of the freezer

2009-08-23T23:15:00.000-07:00

When I began this blog I actually intended to have it focused on the combination of my own training, which you will find here, and thoughts about early Gaelic warrior culture especially relating to women and how that influences my physical and spiritual path working, which you probably find lacking. A lot of stuff went on, however, making be back away from writing about my spiritual path. Some was the hells I was going through with all the death, other issues were around a collaboration that went all to hell which has caused me to disassociate from not only everyone I was working with at the time but also the name, I coined, for the religious path. And then there was all the death going on around me. I also had looked back at the writing I did on this when I was in college and that sort of killed any real interest; while I feel I learned a lot while in college, I've learned much more in the years since, making my hope to rework what I wrote back then mostly futile.

So I turned my attention more to "women warriors" in pop culture here, a subject which is, in many ways connects to the other for me. How? Through story.

Whether it's the ancient Irish literature (and yes, it's more correctly "literature" rather than "myth" even if some myth might influence it none was the mythology of those who wrote it down and much was influenced by classical literature that the monks would have been trained in) or a modern movie, story matters. How it matters to a woman today walking a warrior path is a large part of my exploration, no matter the origin of the story. So the focus here changed to exploring how movies and TV can affect us and our path.

However, when I lost internet access, I ended up pulling this project out of the freezer...having long since removed it from even the back burner. Some of it was spoiled, useless, had to be discarded. But there were a few bits still useful, along with other things I've written since then. And others have done research since then that helps.

Land of Women by Lisa Bitel is a wonderful, if often sobering look at the realities of life for women in early Christian Ireland (the first era we have any such information on). A Woman's Words: Emer and Female Speech in the Ulster Cycle by Joanne Findon takes an interesting look at how this woman is presented...not a woman who is going to be much featured in my own work, but it's a tactic that interests me. And was well used by Diana Veronica Dominguez in her dissertation "Is dethbir disi" [It is appropriate (that she behave in this way)]: applying the lens of gender parody to Medb in the Old Irish Ulster Cycle about a woman who does. Are All Warriors Male? Gender Roles on the Ancient Eurasian Steppe edited by Katheryn M. Linduff and Karen S. Rubinson is another exciting find. There are more, really, too many to list, but I thought I'd share these.

So, I may or may not share more about getting back to this study. You might have to wait for the book, provided I can sell it. It's not going to be what many seem to look for, from what I can tell by what is out there, in a "woman warrior book." I'm not giving grand fantasies that women warriors roamed the ancient world in huge numbers, nor am I giving some new age platitudes about "peaceful warriors" or "inner warriors" or any such thing. Of course, this latter, at least, I suppose those who read this should expect. I will be preaching that "warrior" does mean one is at least prepared, if not actually experienced, to fight. That this isn't fantasy, but life.

And yes, while there is a focus in this project on exploring the ancient tales and what history there is, there will be a discussion on how pop culture relates as well as a lot on physical training both in fitness and fighting. So much of what has been here already will be reflected.

I just thought I'd share where I'm at with this, while I do have a moment with access to the blog. Meanwhile, stay strong!

Year of the Gun: Third Step, Self-Protection with Handguns (SPwH)

2009-07-27T01:00:00.000-07:00

It seems to take me at least a month to write these up, which probably seems a long delay. This time is even longer and I have the excuse of not having much online access, but that wasn’t so in the first two. The real problem is that I just feel overwhelmed to find the words to do these classes justice. It just seems impossible to convey either the fun, especially of a shooting focused class like this and Basic Handgun, or the sense of empowerment they and Responsible Use of Lethal Force, give...albeit a very grave empowerment. Given the reality that is the focus of that second class, it also gives me a bit of trepidation into even trying to express how much damn fun the shooting classes are. It seems odd that preparing for something you hope never to use should be such a rush. But they are. It's fun to learn, it's empowering to take on the knowledge to protect ones own life and that of others, it's beyond intense to consider the responsibility of it.

Of course, all these things are true of non-firearms self-defense training and martial arts as well. But with the guns you have, excuse the pun, the bang!

In early June, we returned to the Harvard Sportsman's Club to do the next step with AWARE (Arming Women Against Rap e and Endanger ment) Self-Protection with Handguns. AWARE VP Lyn Bates again led this class, assisted by Barbara Clorite, Jim Roberts and Roger Lanny, with Lanny joining the class later in the day when Roberts had to leave early. There were six students, giving us an excellent 1 to 2 student to instructor ratio, allowing for a great deal of input and answers to questions through the whole class.

The class started in the club house, with introductions. This time my mate was the token only male student, the other students ranging from the MA coordinator of Second Amendment Sisters, Inc. who has been shooting for awhile to a woman who grew up with guns but wanted formal training knock off some rust to those of us who were new to shooting including one woman who was still unsure if carrying for self-defense was really an option she wanted to take. We then had an overview of basic safety and issues, before heading down to one of the outdoor ranges.

This is when the real fun began?

After all but two of us, who had their own weapons, found our loaner guns, we started with a demonstration of the basic Isosceles stance, with both arms out in a triangle, which Lyn demonstrated with Jim helping her show the importance of putting weight forward to maintain balance, something some of us *ahem* could have done better at. After all, as Jim noted in an aside discussion at one point, this is the basic stance in nearly any self-defense or combat Martial Art system. I plead nerves as a beginner shooter for still standing too far back, according to the photos (which you will never see) and am glad I have those photos to remind me. We began our shooting in this stance.

Lyn then went over the Chapman or Modified Weaver stance, where the shooting arm stays out "like a rifle stock" while the other bends down to secure the hold. The class was fairly evenly divided in which each of us found most comfortable or felt was a better stance for us. I found that while the Chapman was a bit less "natural" to me, it seemed a more secure hold and will likely be the one I practice most to make it more "natural" in the long run. This is despite the fact, that after shooting mostly left-handed in the Basic Class, I exclusively shot right-handed this time making me cross-dominant. This does give some disadvantage, it seems in sighting. We'll see how things go with practice.

We moved onto how to move, both to remove ourselves from another's line of sight and to evaluate the over all situation. This exercise was probably a bit easier for those who know right from left, which I have a huge problem with as I'll note in a moment. However, the couple of bumps that we took, with us all at a safely lined up, also gave us who had them a sense of the importance of keeping our fingers off the triggers when not shooting...and a reminder that if we manage that, the gun won't just go off by itself because of a slight bump.

We then shot from concealment, relating to the cover exercise that was part of RULF. Figuring out a bit, with guns away, did and didn't work to hide us from our targets. We then shot from behind targets, from both the right and left sides, which gave some of us some clues that one might be less advantageous for us than the other was...something to keep working on.

To add another level of reality, the time factor, we got to shoot metal targets, so we could hear when the shots hit, with a timer. Then that was upped by having two of us compete. This gave each of us some sense of how pressure and adrenaline might affect our speed and aim, with some doing better and some worse. Again, information for future training. And a good example of why defensive shooting competition can be an important element of preparedness. One student also learned that some makes of electronic ear protection seem to decide to block the buzzer too.

We also were reintroduced to the phone and lock-box scenario, now getting to act it out with a live gun. We were giving options on how to go about the exercise, based on our knowledge of local response systems and with the knowledge we'd received. Mostly it came down to get gun out, make call, pick up gun, but anyone who could juggle it all would probably have an advantage. I felt rather proud of myself for I was "on the line with 911" with the gun in my other hand when informed the intruder was breaking through, I just started shooting, one-handed, while dropping the phone and bringing my other hand up. Lyn noted that I got at least two good chest shots while still one-handed. I admit, I paid for it a bit with a bruise under my thumbnail where got hit by the moving slide but I didn't feel it until the next morning and certainly better than what might happen in such a scenario if I hesitated.

The last shooting was "the decision" with photo targets, each of us turned away while they put them up, and then we were to turn around and figure out if firing was appropriate. Many were absolutely clear, and no one shot grandma, but a couple were just a tad ambiguous without more information making those of us who got them, I was one, hesitate for a moment. I still contemplate if it was too long, but I also consider that in the case of my bad guys, it was probably prudent to be sure and they did not have an advantage on speed in the situation. But, I still mull it over.

Each step of this has left me feeling more prepared, more ready, although I know I still have so far to go. This is not to say this is an incomplete class, it was a totally filled 8 hours, with a lot of knowledge shared as well as practice. Our lunch period included instruction and time before and after shooting involved a great deal of sharing and discussion. This included the showing of various concealment holsters and bags and discussion of their various merits and demerits. But there is always more. Some of which we feel now can be easily extrapolated from what we've learned so far...including things like going over the concealment in our own homes and then mimicking things as much as possible at the range.

Of course, there are other AWARE classes, we're still hoping to get shotgun ones if anyone is interested (the more who ask for them, the greater the chance they can do them) and Lyn also offers personal instruction and can be contacted through the website. I'm sure we'll be seeing more of her in the future. And we're both considering the possibility, if we can manage out time, of perhaps getting involved in some competition to work on our stress responses. As I said before, this may be the Year of the Gun because the journey is new and we're giving it a particular focus, but this is a life-time journey we've started.

And, just in case anyone does want to see me as well as my classmates:

I'd like to thank my classmates for agreeing to appear in this blog and all four of our teachers for their wonderful instruction.

Copyright © 2009 Kym Lambert ní Dhoireann

Terminator Salvation and Physical Feminism at TEOTWAWKI

2009-05-24T21:02:00.000-07:00

We went to Terminator Salvation Saturday night and it was an awesome movie on almost every count. Well, written, with the exception to be addressed here, well cast, well directed, with good nods to the first two movies and, of course, state-of-the-art special effects. I've reviewed it for The Sarah Connor Charm School (link will change later when it, probably cobbled with this, is put on the other website). But there is one thing that must be addressed here.

The scene, in fact, exemplifies, negatively, the very reason I have this blog and started the SCCS. Because while today we have to learn to defend ourselves because good men are not always going to be there to save us and we shouldn't expect them to and law enforcement might be callable in most cases but an awful lot of awful things can be done to you in the time it takes for them to get there, which in some places is longer than others but is always a long time, when the shit hits the fan and society breaks down it will be worse. I'm not of the school that says all men are potential rapists, seriously, some men are just not, but when society breaks down those who are will feel more free to act. There are, indeed, some men today who do not rape simply because they do fear punishment, along with it being easier for men who already don't care to get away with it, these men will rape, kidnap, torture and kill as well.

This is why I've always made the connection between physical feminism and preparedness. This is one of the things I hope to get across in this blog as it goes along, along with addressing our needs today. Because the needs are basically the same, it just will be even more dangerous. As women, we must prepare ourselves to be our own champions at all times (and this is not to say it won't be more dangerous for men, as well, but it seems that more men in the survivalist/preparedness movement are gearing up for it, while not all women are...some are, this is good, more need to).

*SPOILER ALERT* This will spoil this one scene, but as it doesn't give away anything more, I would hope those who have not yet seen it will consider reading this, if not, please return.

In the scene, Blair Williams (Moon Bloodgood), the character most of us had the most hope for in carrying on the original Sarah Connor's (Linda Hamilton) legacy*, has survived bailing from her plane when it is blown and has met Marcus (Sam Worthington) and he goes off while she begins to dress her injuries. She puts her Desert Eagle off her body and moves away from it before she is confronted by three men, one of whom has, of course, acquired her gun. She does tell him he should have chambered a round and takes it from him and begins fighting them. Just as I hope for a real kick-ass scene, she is quickly over powered and Marcus must come and save her. With her hardly having fought at all.

Now, of course, he needed to save her to carry the plot. But why in this way? Why make her a fucking moron? Why make her an ineffective fighter? There are so many ways this could have been done differently and carried the plot the same way.

Why not have her injured and he needed to save her by stopping her bleeding? Or at least have a machine be the danger, as really these men where just humans? Or if it needed to be an attempted rape scene, and noting the danger is actually a good warning to put out there, why not have her be more efficient, at least let her take out most of them, and Marcus only come in the end when one might have gotten a drop? Three against one are, after all, bad odds...but at least let her, a warrior, be more effective, not so totally helpless against three men who were clearly not real fighters. But really, have her have her frigging gun on her, not having been so stupid to be in open territory without it. That one thing is just mind boggling to me. You do not walk away from and of your weapons in such a situation. Ever.

This message, that women are just plain victims and always will be, needing men to save them is atrocious. It should never have been in a movie franchise which started with a woman who went from being a Final Girl (spunky and can save herself but not a trained warrior) to choosing to become a warrior in the end (which marked the first movie as unique, really, because she is going off to prepare, having already taken the measures of a gun and a dog, something Final Girls do not typically do).

This has basically ruined what was an otherwise great movie, well not quite as great as the first two, but a really good action movie, for me. And one that had such potential. There are many otherwise good female roles, the older and obviously takes -no-shit leader of a group of survivors, Virginia (Jane Alexander), the various women in various positions in the Resistance, yes, even Kate(Bryce Dallas Howard, who does a marvelous job of reclaiming a character who had been rather horrible in the very badly done Terminator 3), yes, rather cliche cute, smart kid, Star (Jadagrace). Blair Williams could have been a real icon for physical feminism and for prepared women, but they chose to portray her as a warning for how "helpless women are by nature" instead.

In fact, such a scene as this, which shows the danger and the need to be prepared, done with Blair winning the fight, with her having her weapon and blowing the hell out of the would-be rapists, perhaps recovering from the wound Marcus had already had to save her from, would have taken this movie from a good action film to an amazing women kick-ass must watch over and over obsession for me that the first two movies are. But no, while it's a good action movie, worth seeing for that, and Christian Bale saves the character of John Connor from the emo legacy that Nick Stahl and Thomas Dekker created and remade him as the real Sarah Connor's son, it doesn't get added to my rotation. I won't watch it after every viewing of Terminator and Terminator 2 (which I run frequently, sometimes to sit and watch and sometimes as background while I do other things in the house). And it could have. It might have even held a special place because of such a scene, a scene that both reminds us that TEOTWAWKI will add to our possible peril AND remind us that we do not need to hope that some man will be there to save us. That we can champion ourselves.

*Yes, in the end of T2 Sarah fell short of the saving shot and the T800 needed to save her and John. It's an annoying event for many of us, done simply because Schwarzenegger had to be the hero of the piece. And yes, he takes on the mere humans during her escape, but she was doing okay until he himself drove her back towards them. The end of the movie was marred, but this scene is even worse. And, of course, we always have the fact that in the fist movie, Sarah saves herself in the end, the man protecting her already dead and so she had to champion herself.

Copyright © 2009 Kym Lambert ní Dhoireann

Year of the Gun: Second Step, Responsible Use of Lethal Force (RULF)

2009-05-09T23:27:00.000-07:00

In the end of March, we continued our firearms training, following NRA Basic Pistol, this time turning to Arming Women Against Rape and Endangerment (AWARE), a teaching group run by women that I've heard good things about and have wanted to check out for a long time. In short, the good things I heard were verified by this class, which was not only informative but also very well presented by AWARE founding member and vice-president Lyn Bates, who herself has extensive training since 1983 including with Massad Ayoob ("I wanted to learn from the best" she noted), competes in defensive firearms, is a member of the International Law Enforcement Education and Trainer's Association, American Society of Law Enforcement Trainers, American Women's Self Defense Association, is a contributing editor of Women & Guns and has written the book Safety for Stalking Victims: How to Save Your Privacy, Your Sanity and Your Life (she is also mentioned several times in McCaughey's Real Knockouts and in Quigley's Not an Easy Target).

The small class was equally men and women, with one man joining us at the last minute, having been a long time shooter and member of the Harvard Sportsman's Club who saw the information. While started, as Lyn explained, as a "women teaching women" school, they soon began teaching men as well. This, of course, could bring up a common problem seen when women have positions of power in what is considered a "man's world" where some men feel compelled to "take over" ...this was not going to happen with Lyn, that was clear (any more than any of the men who were, in fact, helping with Evelyn Logan's class we took previously would have had a chance). (This subject will probably end up being a future post here)

This class, is a vital step in preparing to defend oneself with a firearm, although it might not be the funnest step as it's a non-shooting course and deals with the hard, sobering facts that must be faced. It is, of course, a prerequisite for AWARE's Self-Protection with Handguns and Defensive Shotgun courses.

This is not to say it's all lecture and sitting, there were several exercises, such as the Tueller Drill and Using Cover and Concealment, to break up the talk and video tapes. The class starts with Introduction to Self-Defense, going over, among much else, the reasons for it, when it's required, what deadly force is and when it's justified and when it's not, not breaking the basic safety rules and what determines who wins.

The class then goes over what happens before and during a violent attack. This includes what the signs of aggression and imminent attack, what fear and trauma are, how the body and mind react to danger and how to harness that reaction and gives a guideline for interaction with an attacker.

After a lunch that included the video Home Defense, we moved into what happens if you have to shoot. As well as explaining the duty to retreat if possible under most circumstances (especially in states without "Castle Laws" like MA), shooting to stop (as opposed to even thinking "kill or wound"), not being focused on it went over the physical and cognitive after affects and what might happen to you with the law. Yes, you are probably going to be arrested. "The police will treat the person with a gun as a suspect." Do not have gun in hand when they arrive, give clear, calm information that you are the one attacked and that you want time to calm down before you give a statement. The importance of knowing who to contact if this happens, before it happens, was noted, this includes that those of us who train with AWARE can contact them, or have our lawyer contact them, for help with resources for your defense.

The last segment was on gun storage, including lock boxes and other devices and what to do should your home be invaded, including the cover and concealment exercise and how to determine if someone is in your home. The class finished up with a video of Massad Ayoob discussing Post Shooting Trauma.

During breaks Lyn kept herself approachable for questions and informal discussion, as well as having put out over a hundred handouts related to the subject, from serious articles to cartoons (this is in addition to several books that come with the class, two of Ayoob's In the Gravest Extreme and The Truth About Self-Protection, Bo Hardy's Defensive Living and Gila Hayes' Effective Defense). I found Lyn's teaching style approachable and open, while she also kept the class moving along and cleanly organized. The information was often grim, but the importance of getting the reality of the consequences was always obvious. This class is an absolute necessity for anyone considering using a gun for self-defense as much as learning the actual techniques, which will be the next step.

So I feel totally vindicated already in having promoted AWARE since hearing what others said, even though it took me awhile to get there. Especially if a non-shooting class was this interesting and strengthening. I can't say enough about how important I feel this class is, these are things we always have to consider. We will be taking Self-Protection with Handguns next month and I'm hoping they eventually offer a Defensive Shotgun class (interest will likely make it happen *hinthint*). AWARE isn't limited to firearms training, either, they also offer Pepper Gas and Persuader/Kubotan training, as well as an Assault Prevention class they offer free for groups of ten or more.

I highly recommend AWARE for both women and men for any of these purposes. And, always remember, you cannot take too many classes, even the "same class" because it will never be the same. I note this as I will be doing defensive training at Major Wadron's at some point too. And, yes, I'm still hoping to train with Ayoob myself one day.

(for the Third Step: Self-Protection with Handguns click this link)
Copyright © 2009 Kym Lambert ní Dhoireann

The real reason everyone is nuts over Michelle Obama's arms

2009-03-25T00:29:00.000-07:00

When I first saw Michelle Obama's arms bared, I did notice she was in fairly good shape. As always, I thought it was wonderful to see some muscle on a woman, but I really didn't think much of it. She is buff, but not exactly that buff. It was just nice to know she wasn't afraid to become strong.

Yes, I admit it, for all my focus on women's physical strength, most of my concern about an Obama was whether Barack really was going to dig us out of the legacy of the last administration. Oh, and if they would set a good example by adopting a shelter dog rather than buying a puppy.

But a lot of other people apparently noticed and seemed to feel it was a big deal. I won't round up all the chatter as Jocelyn Noveck of the Associated Press managed to pin down most of it already in Why all the fuss over a first lady's bare arms?.

The thing is though, she failed to answer it. In fact, there were things she reports in this that are glaringly wrong, sexist, strong-woman phobic and point right to the answer. Yet she never hits on it.

In Noveck's section entitled "MRS. OBAMA'S ARMS COINCIDE WITH A FASHION TREND" she quotes Glamour magazine's Susan Cernek saying that erogenous zones vary with styles, implying apparently that buff arms are current (this is not, actually, said here by Cernek so we don't know if that's what she meant or not). Noveck then goes on to note that Linda Hamilton, as Sarah Connor, started the trend of muscular arms but that Madonna was the most famous celebrity with them. Oddly enough, she makes Hamilton's buffness out to be even earlier than it was, mistakenly saying that it was in the '80s. As it is, of course, the trend of mainstream female muscle started and died in the 1990s, it is not in any way a current trend.

This actually is the reason for the big deal about Michelle Obama's arms, because they are not the trend. Yes we had a few short years of buff actresses and sports models, but for the past ten years or so both Hollywood and Madison Avenue have given us thinner and thinner images once again. Madonna is one that didn't follow this trend and there are a scant few others, as I post about often here, such as actresses Evangeline Lilly, Rhona Mitra, Jessica Biel and very few others. Now we have female "action stars" whose biceps I could touch my fingers around. No, the very reason for all this fuss is because this is simply not accepted.

And we can see why in other statements made, especially by the men who commented, along with some major fallacies again. Noveck quotes Tyler Thoreson, executive editor of men.style.com, as saying "When I look at Madonna's arms I see someone whose priorities are way out of whack. It takes hours a day to keep them that way. Why not volunteer instead at a soup kitchen?"

No, it does not take hours a day to build and keep that sort of muscle, that's a common cry by those who do not work out or who work out ineffectively and therefore figure those who have more success must be doing something unreasonable rather than right. Building muscle, in fact, requires rest, you can't work them too much or you over train and you can't work them daily. Now Madonna is not just big but very cut, so she may well spend a lot of time doing cardio, but correct me if I'm wrong as I'm not a big fan, but I think cardio is part of her actual job. Doesn't she dance a great deal in her shows? So I think it's probably a wise priority for her.

Thoreson himself doesn't look like fitness is a key part of his life (I Googled him and there are lots of photos to go by) but one might hope a fitness trainer like David Kirsch would know better. But he too is quoted attacking Madonna by saying that unlike her arms "Mrs. Obama's are feminine. She looks like a woman." Um, sorry, Madonna is a woman so,you know, she looks like a woman too. Why is this so hard for people to grasp?

Because people like this are telling us constantly that if we get too big we suddenly become men.

One might, then look at the three clients of Kirsch who are noted, does he know how to train women this man who says that just by doing more and more push-ups everyday any of us could look like Michelle Obama (which someone with training in fitness would know is not true at all...it just doesn't work that way)? Well, of the three famous clients noted, I will say Ellen Barkin is rather buff, while the other two all photos I could find show them painfully thin. Perhaps those are from before they trained with him? If dozens of push-ups does that, I think I'll stick with my more diverse training (which does include push-ups, of various types and difficulty...hardly any just standard anymore).

Only Gloria Steinem comes close to the answer, this is sexism plain and simple. But it's not clear if she gets the point about exactly what the message is, she's only quoted as noting that if Hilary Clinton had become President Bill Clinton's arms wouldn't be a subject of discussion. The sexism is that it's that these muscles are on a woman and that is supposed to be abnormal. They'd not be abnormal on a man.

The message is that Michelle Obama's arms are a big deal because it's still considered abnormal for women to be strong. And that's the message many who are noting it want us to keep getting. And in case we don't accept it, then we'll be given bad fitness advice, that great contradiction of "women can't get as big as men but make sure you don't work out the 'wrong way' or you'll end up looking like a man."

So it's time to stop making a big deal and just accept it, yes! women get muscles, we are strong! We do all have this potential, some of us might look like Michelle Obama, others might look like Madonna or Linda Hamilton's Sarah Connor, still others might fit the "farm wife" or "bull dyke" stereotypical images while others might be plumply hiding muscle and most of us won't look like anyone else at all. But none of us, barring extreme medical conditions, need to be frail and weak. Rather than making a fuss, we need to make it not a concern at all because too many of us are strong.

Copyright © 2009 Kym Lambert ní Dhoireann

Year of the Gun: First Step, Basic Pistol

2009-03-01T01:11:00.000-08:00

I have written in the past that one should train with any weapon she intends to use for self-defense. In believing this, the only guns I have ever previously owned for self-defense or otherwise has been shotguns, having had some training, mostly informal, in using them. I have shot rifles, but not since my youth. I had never shot a pistol before last weekend other than an Air Soft. Last year I decided that 2009 would be the year I truly trained in guns, got better with shotguns but also got trained in others. Handguns were first, not only because they were the least familiar but because I want to train at AWARE and this year that is all they are offering.

I chose, however, to take an NRA Basic Pistol class in NH first, rather than AWARE's Basic Pistol, simply because I wanted to do so with my mate. I do not want to have a gun in the house that he does not know, he may well need it to defend himself for while this blog might focus on women's self-defense, men are crime-victims, even rape victims too, and he is interested in shooting. I could find no available classes near us, so I looked close to where my sister and his mother live so that we could combine trips with family visits and found courses offered at Major Waldron Sportsmen's Association and signed us up.

This class was led by Evelyn Logan, a sharp outspoken woman with a strong sense of humor and an even stronger belief in self-defense. Or, as she put it, the right to survive, "If someone attacks me, he's infringing on my right to survive." Evelyn was very open about being a rape survivor and an attempted rape survivor, "Anyone want to guess why the second was an attempt?" (there are some factual mistakes, like her husband's last name and I think she's younger than this indicates). It turns out that Evelyn has taught at AWARE and she was thrilled to hear that I was going to be training there as well.

As there were many instructors working with her, we also got a taste of various reasons people where enthusiastic about shooting handguns. Along with self-defense and tactical some of the instructors did Bullseye and at least one does Cowboy shooting. We also were able to glean information about why some preferred certain guns over others and how that varied, sometimes picking up things that we might not have expected (for instance, because I am most comfortable shooting left-handed despite being right-handed, probably due both to shooting shotgun and a touch of arthritis developing in my right hand, I noted one instructor mention that being left-handed Glock magazine releases pinched his finger...I might not have noticed this as we only got three shots at the end of class in trying different models, but yes, even with three shots I noted a mark which would likely mean much more discomfort after far more shooting so perhaps no Glock for me).

There were moments of sadness for me. Several women actually noted that they were there to "humor" their husband, boyfriend or father. My mate and I joked that if we were not among the first to introduce ourselves he should have said he was there to humor me (although not actually true, and even less so by the end, he really got into it). Some of these same women also began hanging back when we were able to try out different guns and were quick to say they enjoyed shooting the .22s we trained with but the higher calibers were just too much. I am hoping that as they shoot more this might be something they get past. Hearing it made me, tired as I was from switching my hours and many other reasons for having had little sleep that weekend, head back to try out another .45.

I thought the class we well organized and feel I'm well on my way to becoming knowledgeable enough that handguns will be a part of my self-protection arsenal. But, yes, this is a first step and training will be ongoing. I was thrilled to have a teacher such as Evelyn who has such a passion for women's self-defense and who has actually stopped a rape using a gun. I will undoubtedly train with her more in the future, as I intend to take more classes at MWSA and she has said she'd try to volunteer when I do. Along with the AWARE classes, the first of which I hope will be next month, I intend to do Persona Protection in the Home, Basic Shotgun (because you never can learn too much) and Basic Rifle at MWSA. I hope, too, to eventually be able to get down to some of their monthly Tactical shoots. It's good to see a range such as this one with such a great focus on defensive shooting, when most I found closer to me seem focused almost exclusively on shooting sports.

If you are in the region and looking for training in guns for self-defense and/or sport, I do recommend MWSA. Hopefully, if you're looking for self-defense inspiration, you'll get to meet Evelyn as one of your instructors.

(For the Second Step: Responsible Use of Lethal Force and Third Step: Self-Protection with Handguns clink on these links)

Copyright © 2009 Kym Lambert ní Dhoireann

Getting back "on program"

2008-11-16T02:05:00.000-08:00

After an active rest followed by a deep blow to my life (if you're reading this in a personal blog, you know about this already...but this is cross-posted), I want to say that as of tonight I am returning to my fitness program. Other training, however, may still have to wait.

For the past few of weeks the only exercise I've had has been cleaning stalls, hauling hay (and not much), loading wood stoves and walking patrols at work. Tonight I did some chin ups, push ups and crunches. It's a start, considering I'm also not sleeping well and am just plain emotionally exhausted.

I'm posting this mostly because by doing so I know I gotta stick with it. And because, perhaps for the first time in my life really, I need motivation.

Time is going to be an issue for the running, but I might have to just add a small horse (with a choice of three, with a fourth one possible if he starts getting healthier....I'm not trying this with my filly right now) to my run rather than longeing them. That should be, um, entertaining? Especially for the dog.

Fight training of any kind, especially regular martial arts classes are just out right now. I had actually hoped that we might be able to swing once a week classes, but those are over an hour away from here and with our extra work load at home there is no way. I do have some firearms classes coming up next year and had planned to refresh my tracking skills a bit...however, the latter I might just send my mate to alone, as one of us does have to be here and, honestly, with a daytime schedule he'll be up for a multi-day workshop more than I will, and have him help get my skills back up. The shooting stuff I'll get too...one day classes I can do. I think...uh, not looking forward to the driving AND staying up all day.

I need to be back on track...this is part of my healing, it's part of dealing with the stress. I must remember Sarah in the psych hospital, still training against all odds.

Then we'll see about writing again.

cross-posted to my blogs, Sarah Connor Charm School fora, Hooded Crow and Women of Strength LJ communities....sorry not links, that means altering them for various fora and I'm just too damned tired for that.

Some great entertainment stuff from Athletic Women Blog

2008-10-05T23:32:00.000-07:00

Rob Mars of Athletic Women Blog tells us about a really exciting looking movie coming up called Rigged starring Rebecca Neuenswander as a martial artist who is brought into the world of underground fighting taking on male fighters. Neuenswander may be one to watch, she's been given kudos for her acting as well as her fighting and powerful physique; she's a former TKD fighter so she knows what she's doing there and packed on 20 pounds of muscle for the role. She's also an executive director of HALO, which helps orphanages worldwide, so she has a great heart too. Check out Mars' review here, along with the video he includes, and I bet you'll be waiting for your chance to see it too.

Mars is rightly horrified that I left out the ever buff Jessica Biel in my list in my last entry....in my defense I will note that she's a tad too young for the main character but another who is perfect for a younger partner role. She is one of my favorite strong female actresses, but, you know, anyone who is born after I graduated from High School is just too young for the starring role in my TV series. *snerk* Another post shows a video of Biel's training, check it out!

TV: Where are the women?

2008-09-23T01:12:00.000-07:00

I'm dismayed, yet not surprised, that I have only noticed one new network action type show this season with a woman in front. Last year we got two, but they were dismally bad, with one dying a quiet death and the other getting renewed despite destroying the entire premise of the movies it's based on (I won't go into that more as I've said plenty about That TV Show here already). This year the offering is just as poorly conceived and written and starts off insulting me as a woman looking for a good fictional heroine right from the start. Our first meeting with the female lead of Fringe she's having sex with her FBI partner, bringing home a major point of those opposed to having women in such jobs. I mean, could we gift sexists anymore than that? Oh, wait, it's followed up by her new superior calling her sexist diminutives with no action by her to stop him.

Never mind that the show is just poorly done over all. It gives us a "heroine" who we can only look down upon. It's sad. The rest are male led, most with female "sidekicks," a formula that really needs to die. It was getting old in the '60s.

Fortunately, cable's summer season gave us a much better female led series in In Plain Sight. Even better, it's supposedly renewed for a second season so we can again get a physically and mentally strong heroine on TV. Mary McCormack's character is strong, complex, gritty, down to earth and probably the best female character on TV. But somehow not enough. Well, because how could, in a sea of male action leads, can one female be enough?

I keep thinking about the sort of shows I want to see, the sort of female characters I want to see. And even McCormack's Mary Shannon fails a bit for me. Not that there will ever be perfection but I can hope for more.

Of course, I tend to prefer the supernatural and SciFi genres over straight cop shows, so that's what I'd like to see more strong female leads in.

However, no more female characters whose strength is "male created." That is no male mages giving the power (Buffy), no male scientists giving the power (both Bionic Women and others), in fact, let's not have her have any power. Just her own strength and skill that she's worked for. What ever the genre stuff might be, let's not have it be about where her strength comes. Because we want a message that women do not need to be given strength.

Therefore have her visibly physically fit, as well as weapon savvy, survival savvy and all. Let's even have training scenes to show this and inspire us. We can accept male teachers, we still live in a world where the majority of those teaching weapons and fighting are male, but let's avoid the mentor-daddy-figure.

And not a kid, someone at least in her thirties. And not trying to hide it, not angsting over it.

Let's skip the cliche that all partnerships have to me female/male if they're not male/female. If she has to have a partner/sidekick then let her have a female one. And not a femme to "balance her out" but also capable, complex and interesting in her own right.

Let's also skip all the dress issues that usually are played out. Neither have her dress femmy to try to make up for being tough nor have her phobic about wearing a dress. I'd want her mostly in tanks and jeans, showing off those muscles, but she should be able to pull off business wear when needed and not behave as if she's in a costume when wearing a classy dress. And never should she need to wear a trashy one.

Let's keep the private life private, no more than a hint perhaps. Certainly no sleeping with partners even if the partner is female. If we can't have an out gay or bi heroine, at least keep her sexuality ambiguous. Let her sex life be left to the fanfic writers, because they don't care what the cannon is anyway. And the show should be about her work or her cause or whatever.

She does not need to be emotionally shut off, however. Another cliche we can do without. A sense of humor is good, we need more of that. But let's not go over board on the warm fuzzies, again, there is nothing to make up for.

Of course, Rhona Mitra should be on the short list to star if we go on the young end. Followed by Gina Torres, Yancy Butler and Cynthia Watros. Linda Hamilton would be there but I don't think she'd have the remotest interest in this sort of role now, mores the pity. And McCormack is not included as I don't want this to replace In Plain Sight, I want that to go on for many seasons as well. Michele Rodriguez is apparently not too keen on long term TV commitments either, but if there is a partner she'd be a good choice as she's a bit too young for the lead.

These are just random thoughts of a frustrated physical feminist TV viewer while waiting for In Plain Sight's second season and to see if we have better luck with the networks next year. Of course, if anyone wants to act on them just let me know and I'll tell you where to send the check. ~;p

Copyright © 2008 Kym Lambert ní Dhoireann

Self-defense and acquaintance rape

2008-08-27T00:07:00.000-07:00

One of the myths I've seen about women's* self-defense has been that it is only effective if the attacker is the "stranger in the ally." I've heard this, even, from some self-defense instructors which is truly sad (not the really GOOD ones, though), but it's most often heard from those giving reasons why it's pointless to bother to learn to defend oneself. It's usually the main reason, even, going along with "it'll make you take too many risks" and "a small woman with training is never going to beat a big man if he is trained too." The theory is that as most rapes and other assaults against women are committed by dates, long-term boyfriends, husbands, family members, supposed friends, business associates that either women are going to be unable to use such methods against someone they know and possibly care about and/or most of these assaults are really violent enough to warrant the abilities gained in self-defense training.

Why do these naysayers believe that a woman trained in self-defense is going to be unable to use it on a man who they know just because they know him? This seems to go back to the "nice girls don't hurt anyone" belief, that it's innate in our being as women not to cause anyone physical damage. However, we probably could, apparently, learn to hurt the unknown stranger in the dark alley. But never, ever, ever the guy that thinks he can hurt us even if he knows us.

I believe that part of self-defense training is that we learn that anyone who causes us harm is someone we can hurt in order to prevent ourselves from being hurt. It doesn't matter if we know him or not, if he's hurting us we have to get over any notion that we can't hurt him. This must be part of the process. Even if, ESPECIALLY IF, the abuse is long term.

But the notion that "date rape" and other acquaintance rape and abuse doesn't get violent has struck me as totally odd. Because battery and rape are always hand-in-hand. Yes, some date rape happens with only verbal coercion, but if that doesn't work it can quickly escalate. Even some situations where consensual sex is intended by the woman, things become violent...as is the case of someone I know whose date found himself on the floor after letting her know she had no choice in the matter, he liked it rough, on the woman, and fully intended to hurt her. She had full-impact training and she was not the one in the most pain by the time she walked out the door. (Remember, you can say "no" even after you said "yes," ANY time you no longer, for any reason, want to continue.)

Even in the most "charming" coercive behavior there is that threat that things could "get ugly" if the woman doesn't go for it. Many women who gave in to verbal demands, with no overt violent threats, have noted that even without it being stated they were afraid of being physically hurt if they didn't give in. In fact, I'd say nearly all. That "I'd be helpless if it got that far, he's bigger and stronger" message that is so prevalent in our society.

By having the knowledge that they have the ability to fight back if the man turns violent, women may be more confident in their "nos." Many times it probably will end there, other times perhaps they'll have to actually use those skills. But they'll have them. And either way, they're more likely to come out of it not having been raped.

Which makes me wonder...is that the sort of "risks" we're not supposed to want to take? Being more confident in the things we're doing, around the people we are with? I think if those are "risks" they're more than well worth taking.

*I'm maintaining the language that "he" is the attacker and "she" is the potential victim in part because this is a blog about physical feminism and mostly because these are still the higher odds. This is not meant to negate in any way that women are abused by other women, men by women, men by other men...or any possible combination. We do still live in a world where women are considered weaker, men stronger and this is the basis of much of the abuse women face from men and why the odds are still in favor of this mix. Physical feminism, in fact, seeks to remedy that by empowering women to find their physical strength....we do have it!

Copyright © 2008 Kym Lambert ní Dhoireann

Doomsday and my new girlfriend

2008-08-25T22:04:00.000-07:00

We watched Doomsday today. I went into it expecting to hate it, due to many reviews. Now, normally, I don't pay much attention to reviews, but these included those whose opinions I do often agree on and many women who like strong female characters and those who love post-Apocalyptic movies. And they all hated it.

Okay, one thing pegged right is that it is unoriginal. But I always laugh at anyone expecting originality...seriously, there is no such thing. Not since the written word. Nothing has been original since long before writing, it's just a matter of story telling. I suppose what is meant is "I don't like the way this story teller tells this same old story." Fair enough....but I do wish people would stop using "unoriginal" in reviews. It's pointless.

Sorry...it's a pet peeve.

This is a self-admitted homage movie to begin with. So "originality" is even more of a non-issue. Yes, LOT'S of Escape from New York/LA in this...but I can totally live with the idea of a female Snake Pliskin. Yup, Mad Max is there. Personally, I do NOT get the references made to Resident Evil, other than it being a fairly recent strong female role offering, or, especially, 28 Days Later, other than a virus (but in this doesn't create "zombification" only death and all violence from the infected is response to the government and military treatment they get. Oh, perhaps anything about any disaster taking place in Britain has to be related to 28 Days Later? I don't get it...but maybe it was one of the movies Neil Marshall (writer/director, also of Dog Soldiers and Descent both of which had initially made me hopeful about this one) intended to homage...but I don't see it. Sorry.

Anyway. Of course, why I love it the most is all about Rhona Mitra as Major Eden Sinclair. She is a wonderful female action actress, having both acting chops and a great physique. She not only is muscular, with good arms but a totally enviable back, but is able to move and carry herself like an action hera. Her character has grit, something she's shown before (the physique I can't remember seeing, although I do know she did Lara Croft appearances, well, I doubt she needed it for that either actually...just the breast implants which, honestly makes me sad that she felt she had to do).

I also loved seeing Malcolm McDowell as a megalomaniac who takes over a castle and makes himself out to be a medieval king. I just know so many who would would do this if trapped in a disease ravaged Scotland. And, well, it's just such cheesily good role for him.

As an aside, I had a personal laugh from the Mad Max styled cannibalistic Marauders in Glasgow, when the leader, Sol (Craig Conway) is up on stage. Some time ago I wrote in a survivalist group meaning to say "fighting off desperate reavers" and left out the first "e" ...making it "fighting off desperate ravers." This led to many jokes about being bombarded with glow sticks and the like. But HERE was the reality...we do have to fear the ravers! At least when they get a taste for human flesh. Okay, not as funny to anyone else...but I must laugh for years over bad typos I make.

I don't know, I also found the idea of England locking off Scotland the way they did somehow pointed. And I like anything that shows corrupt government types. (and yes, I can see some Land of the Dead...but not the zombie movies usually mentioned...well, I guess there is the locking up Raccoon City in Resident Evil but not as much due to some of the general way it was done).

Oh, big personal pet peeve. Yes, as a female Snake Pliskin, Sinclair does have only one eye, her left. She removes and uses her artificial eye, which also serves as a camera, to see around corners and such. So, she's not got it in when she's running round with a gun..including with longarms. Uh, and there she is with in held right-eyed. Why the fuck can't anyone in the movie and TV world figure out that people actually can fucking shoot from their left side! This pisses me off! There is no fucking reason for this. Some people with two eyes are left-eyed (you probably aren't surprised that I am...hence my annoyance about this) so certainly someone who ONLY has a left eye should shoot from the left! With handguns it doesn't matter, with longarms it DOES. (btw, yes, this includes the makers of LOST...there's even an LOLOST type screen cap of Mikhail with the rifle lined up to his non-existent eye *sob*)

No, this is not a great movie. But it's enjoyable to watch if you truly love the genre and strong women...at least Aaron and I found it so. It may be too much of a cult homage to ever have a cult following itself. But Mitra really will should she get the right roles.

Because ultimately, it's Mitra who will get me to buy this movie to add to my "woman warrior" line up...although I'll likely wait until I find it real cheap (which I just tend to do). She seriously has to continue playing action roles, we need this! We need someone like this doing action. And this makes me so sad that this movie was so panned and flopped, that even genre fans talked other genre fans out of it (and, honestly I'm really disappointed in some writers that they didn't indicate being impressed by her, because she's worth raving about! FUCK!). Because I seriously want this woman to get these kinds of roles, preferably in really well done genre movies.

Mitra is totally my top vote for who should have been cast in a (far better written, of course) Sarah Connor TV series. She's got it all. The only problem I might see is that she does bear some facial resemblance to Linda Hamilton, not a lot, but enough that it might be seen as her being too much like her. But the real thing is that she's got both the physique AND the grit.

I am totally in love.

(Cross-posted in all my blogs, yes, including Championing Ourselves as well as Women of Strength LJ and all Sarah Connor Charm School fora.)

Copyright © 2008 Kym Lambert ní Dhoireann

Thoughts on Weapons

2008-06-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

A recent post on one of the SCCS fora about women and guns got me thinking about weapons and self-defense over all. Okay, I usually think about this a lot, but the past few days I've been thinking more about alternative energy and preparing for this coming winter instead.

When it comes to self-defense the first weapon is the brain. Train it. It really all comes down to knowing what you need to do and not letting your brain get in the way when the shit hits the fan. You need to be aware of what is happening, what dangers exist, what escapes exist, what methods will work and, very importantly, you have to not let your brain freeze you trying to sort it out. Which means you need to know how to get your brain to do this automatically, so it doesn't seem like a list of things to follow and instead all happens at once. And, if it comes down to it, your brain does have to get out of the way of the body when it has to do it's thing.

As it doesn't always have to "come down to it" remember that talking your way out is a good strategy when ever possible. So you must train your brain to read people not only to recognize threats but to find ways to dissipate threats that are happening. Conversational skills may not get you out of every situation, but they're not something to be dismissed as old fashion. If nothing else, they can buy you time, they can help you find weaknesses and it doesn't hurt in court if you say you tried to talk your way out first but were left with no choice but to do physical damage.

I'm not going to say "use your brain to avoid all dangerous situations." I actually hate that most "self-defense" advice tends to still start with this, even in an age where we have finally acknowledged that one of the most dangerous places for a woman can be her own home. And we do have a right to choose to do things and go places that might not be deemed safe, especially when we consider no place 100% is. Instead, I think it's important to always realize what dangers you face in any situation, in any location. If you choose to go to a isolated parking garage do it with your brain in gear, know what/who is around you, see everything you can, know where your best bets for safety are and know that you may well have to fight if the wrong person is in that van over there. And know how to.

Your second weapon is your own body. Train it. I think that full-impact self-defense training is vital for everyone, especially women and children. We need to know how it feels to hit full force, both so that we know that we are when we are but also to see what it can do. Martial arts training is great for long term conditioning of both body and mind for fighting, but it often involves NOT hitting other people full-force. I believe the best course is to combine full-impact self-defense, with refresher courses, and combat focused martial arts, but if you choose to only do one do the full-impact self-defense course. And practice it at home...preferably with a bag and not an unprotected friend. Think through the scenarios you are taught, get the body comfortable with the moves, practice them. Practice, practice, practice. And get the brain to stay out of the way!

Like any weapon, you should also keep your brain and your body in the best condition you can if you are going to depend on them. Yes, this means avoiding overindulgence in mind altering, which also affects the body, substances if you feel you may need that brain to protect yourself. It also means staying in shape. Getting and staying strong and fast enough to use what you learn, whether it's striking or running.

Now we come to other weapons. I'm all for carrying and keeping in the home legal weapons for self-defense. No matter how smart and strong we are, we're not always dealing with bare-handed assaults and being armed ourselves is a right we must practice and fight for. Whether you choose guns, knives, pepper gas, blunt weapons or a combination, the first rule is know the damn weapon! Like the brain and body, it takes practice and more so because it's not been a part of you before. Keep it/them in good condition.

Weapons are all around you, I refer to them as weapons-of-expedience, just let your brain find them and your body use them. Anything you can pick up, or even shove, can be used to defend yourself. Anything. I once used shampoo (having years of sensitization to the idea of being attacked in the shower.thanks to watching Psycho at a young age ...it turned out to be a prank by someone who was particularly stupid). A regular mental exercise for me is to walk into a room, identify all exits, inventory all people there if any and inventory the weapons-of-expedience all around. What can I throw, what can I hit with, what can I pin someone down it, what can I drive through someone. How fast can I get to each object before others in the room, what would be the best way to weld it, how much strength will it likely take, what might it do to the human body. And, of course, at home and when otherwise able, I practice with various objects so I actually have some idea of the answers to these things imprinted on my body.

If you do have a third weapon, do not forget the first two weapons. You need to be very sure that the brain can handle the weapon you choose. No matter how good a shot you are are, a gun is not going to save your life if you realize you can't shoot someone when the shit hits the fan. Deal with this possibility, the reality of what it would mean, think it through, BEFORE you get the gun. Just because you feel you can't, however, doesn't mean that you can't change that. If you want to have a gun for self-defense but feel you might hesitate to shoot someone attacking you, find ways to train your brain to over come this issue. Or find a different weapon.

Also remember that you will not have any other weapons but your brain and body with you at all times. Therefore continuing your physical training so that you can use just your body or weapons-of-expedience if your weapon(s) is/are not with you or if you have to fight to get to them. Also be prepared that in tight quarters the advantage of some weapons may be loss unless you are able to fight to maintain control and possession of them.

What ever you choose, it is the brain and the body that will always be with you. Treat them well, keep them sharp.

Copyright © 2008 Kym Lambert ní Dhoireann

The abuse of thin = fit

2008-05-17T00:49:00.000-07:00

Recently a friend brought up the fact that, after a long bout with illness over the winter, she wanted to start eating healthier and get more fit. She felt this would help her immune system fight off such illnesses in the future.

The idea of starting such an endeavor, however, brought up negative feelings in her. She didn't want to be focused on "losing weight" because she had come to realize how abusive pressure by family members, as well as the entire culture, was for her. This struck a chord in me, regarding how our culture looks at fitness, at least in regard to women.

That bad relationships with food, eating disorders from anorexia to binging, usually have roots in childhood abuse has been heavily studied and written about. Some of these studies do venture into the issue of exercise, typically the abuse of exercise to reach dangerous goals. What I haven't seen addressed is what the constant message exercise is only supposed to be about getting thin makes any exercise at all seem to be giving in to the abuse for women who have striven to over come the abusive messages that they must fit an unrealistic ideal.

What can we do to over come this message, that fit=thin and what it does to women who have indeed felt abused in various ways by the message that thin=beautiful/feminine/the-only-thing-worthwhile/etc.? Not only for those suffering from eating and exercise disorders because they internalized this message into self-abuse, but also those women who have managed to gain a healthy self-image, who have managed to become strong and proud within themselves, yet find that considering exercise to become healthier and stronger brings up the old voices. And, yes, also women who are naturally thin and have been told that exercise is wasted because they already fit the "norm"...and also suffer negative health effects.

Because thinness simply should never be the main goal of fitness. Being healthy should. You do not need to attain a certain size, you need to keep your heart strong and keep your body strong. Because strength is what exercise should give you. Losing weight may or may not happen, getting strong will as long as there is no medical reason keeping it from happening.

My friend knows this, but I believe it's not been without struggle to live it, with issues that it brought up for her. I'm sure this is the case for many women. And my struggle is how do we address this? How do we find a way to promote fitness without echoing any of those abusive voices that are out there?

This is not something I'm going to be able to answer here. Because it's really a long road to undo this sort of conditioning. Especially as I see more and more diet companies and gyms focusing on "we all have our ideal weight" in ways that fail...that still give the message that it's not about health but about being thinner than you are now, even if you fail at being really thin. That feeds the same message, as far as I'm concerned.

The thinness message should be the antithesis of fitness! As Colette Dowling points out in The Frailty Myth thinness is about taking up less space in the world. About having less impact in the world. Fitness should be about having more impact in the the world. Being healthy enough, strong enough to do what we need to do.

Copyright © 2008 Kym Lambert ní Dhoireann

Let's get this going

2007-12-27T00:09:00.000-08:00

I've been sitting on this for several months, not quite a year but it's getting close. So I figured I'd start. I had hoped to start this off with a huge and *ahem* important rant on the problem of "man-made heras" but never got around to it. Too many things kept coming up elsewhere. I'll get to it eventually, however.

The other issue, of course, is why am I doing this. I'm on LJ, MySpace *shudder*, Tribe *yawn* and Facebook *blink* so it's not like I need another damn blog. But then those things are more about socializing. This, I hope, will be a more concise place to put my thoughts to the world without any focus on my personal life, friendships or the like except where they might influence the topic. A more formal undertaking, as much as I am ever formal.

For those who stumble on this and don't know me, as my bio says I'm a Gaelic Polytheist on the warrior path, with a degree in Celtic and women's studies and highly opinionated on how stories, from the ancient myths to modern cinema portrays and affects women on the warrior path. That's what this will mostly be about.